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detox...

okay, to be honest i have no reason to give for the silence on this space. truth is, from as long as i can remember, i always have long spells of time when i switch off from everything and everyone. when i just sit still and take stock of all the commitments i have going, all the stuff i do and all the people i surround myself with, and find a reason for each one.

it usually gets most obvious with church and religion, because as anyone who reads my blog often will know, i have something about religion that i cannot put a finger on but i will not give up on either. the sorta "love God but not sure about his kids" feeling. and i know its bad, but thats what i've been doing. i have spent the whole past 2 months on a break from everything and everyone. i have cut off all the hangers on, and stopped going to church altogether (minus once or twice when i would enter during opening prayer and leave during closing prayer) because i feel really monitored and choked and constantly watched and have to keep up appearances and... argghhh!

so, slowly it has crept up on me and i have finally reached the point where i need the sunlight once again. i need to get out of the cold dark place and seek warmth. i need motivation and spunk, and must fight to get my attitude back. i need to dance and bump my head again.

i bet this doesn't make much sense, but i truly dont feel like writing anything, so...except i get something exciting to write about, or stop reading other established blogs that just make it so much more difficult to keep going, then its "see y'all around peeps".

P.S: IBB finally did the sensible thing and dropped out of the race for president. Or has he?

Comments

Roc said…
A known feeling...

He dropped out?? f'real?
11:07 AM, November 25, 2010
Jennifer A. said…
I've been musing on the 'loving God's kids' part.

There's a deeper kind of love for people to which God is calling us to. It does not depend on what sins people commit, or what kinds of observations we make about them. It's just plain loving...like God loves us whether we hate Him, don't know about Him, or simply don't care.
4:53 PM, December 04, 2010
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