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when not to be a hero

i just heard the second most horrifying story this year. so yesterday, someone i know was on her way to work. now here's the set up...you know how in lagos, a lot of people work on the island and live on the mainland. many people who do not have cars, hitch rides with people they see in their neighbourhood but never really know. like how i may know titi, and we are waiting at the busstop one day when titi see her friends neighbour living near her house and he drops us both at the island and from that day, we become his passengers. so, my friend is me in this scenario and her neighbour is titi, and the man they follow to work is that titi's person that my friend really doesn't know like that.

so thats how they were headed to the island from the mainland when they got to oworo and from the left side, a brand new toyota corolla going at top speed just began to edge them to the side of the road, almost as if to avoid a third car that was pushing that toyota from its own lane. naturally they swerved to the very edge of the road and the toyota sped off like the devil was on its tail. before they were able to open their eyes from the furious five movie, the car that was almost running into the toyota double crossed them and three boys jumped out. one of the boys was holding an AK47 (i swear it is not a movie) and the other two were holding pistols. the boys did not look a day above 25. in the ensuing seconds, one of the boys stood smack in front of their car, held up the AK47 and said "nobody should move". in the back of the car, she almost fainted as she put her two hands at the sides of her face and slides lower in her seat leaving just enough space to look at the man through the windscreen. her neighbour who is heavily pregnant is sitting right by the driver in the front and is as striken...and the man driving turns his hands to move the car into the road

the gun wielding man moves swiftly to the drivers edge of the car and shoots the tire in one deft move. at this point, my friend screams and moves as low into the floor of the car as possible in absolute terror. the sound of a gun at such close range shakes the entire car and she remembers she and her neighbour screaming 'don't move, don't move, we're not moving, we're not moving!'. the man repeats louder "i said nobody move!" and for what seemed like forever, nothing happened. then without warning, the man driving tried again to move the car...and she heard a second gunshot and glass shattering all around her. the car seemed to move up off the ground and land again as the back seat glass crashed in on her head and heaped on her bent body. immediately after the commotion she heard a constant hisssssss and turned her head slightly upwards to see ... as the driving man slid slowly and landed motionless on the gear of the car. all she could say was "e be like say e don die o, father lord, father lord" to noone in particular.



seconds after, the moment passed. like nothing had happened. by the time she looked up, there were on-lookers everywhere and good samaritans moved in to open the doors and help them out. as her friend was pregnant, she was immediately whisked away and not allowed to look back (i hear theres a culture that pregnant women don't behold corpses) while she called her office who arranged for security to go and get her.

naturally, the discussions today centred around what not to do in the face of a robbery. chilling as it may seem, here's my summary:

1. please do not argue or try to be a smart alec. most robbers are not in their right minds and are fueled by narcotics. answer questions in one sentence...don't stall or look around like you're hiding something. all they expect is simple compliance. if they ask you to lie down, lie face down completely. avoid the curiousity of looking up until you are sure it is clear.

2. there is absolutely nothing important in your handbag trust me. the phone, atm cards, money, food list, husbands photograph and office laptop can not ever be more important than your being alive to make a report. everyone would rather disbelieve your story than hear that you died trying to salvage your belongings.

3. never try to be a hero. i would like to believe that the man may not have tried to get out of that situation if he wasnt carrying two women, one heavily pregnant. men generally are overcome by the need to protect women, and the desire to think on your feet can overwhelm you. not because you're trying to be a hero, but because you're trying to be the man. now however, the women wishes he was just a wimp and remained alive.

4. insure your cars fully. it puts your mind at rest in the event of a robbery. you are better able to comply knowing that at the very worst, your car will be replaced with the heavy insurance premium you pay yearly for comprehensive insurance. if your wife and child are in the car with you, you can ask that they be dropped off but if you are ignored, tell her to obey them. use endearing words when speaking to your wife like "honey", most robbers will not separate you two after hearing that and if they worry about sensors, may let her off and keep you alone.

above all, pray that it never happens to you. however i find that saying "it is not my portion" begs the question: who's portion then is it?

see y'all around peeps. :(

Comments

Cj said…
This is so ooo shocking, darn, it can happen to anyone, what a bloody waste, so sad...
Ginger said…
Just like dat? Dear Lord!! May his heroic soul RIP.

Your advise is on point Oroque. Live to tell your story.
HoneyDame said…
OMG......chills ran down my spine while reading this....
Oh lord....
You captured the rules so well...compliance is the main thing. (however sad that may be)

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