simply oroque's view

okay, yesterday was sunday and as you all know, church is where its at. it was meant to be like every other sunday, starting at 9 am and ending at 12 noon. for those of you who don't know, i had since resigned from being the vice-president of my youth fellowship during my depression days late last year and that was the only way to remain sane. truth is, its very difficult to criticize something that you are an active part of. its almost as if the more involved you get, the less moral right you have to speak against its shortcomings without sounding downright hypocritical. and that was me in september when it all went crashing down and i left the church for months on end. but after some soul searching, i realized that i cannot change the church and that any adjustments must come from inside out. hence my deciding that my own service will last for exactly 3 hours, come what may, from 9 am to 12 noon. so yesterday, we had just managed to struggle through the most boring sermo...

just today i sat back thinking, and yes i was taking a break from work all you haters, about all the things that have happened to me this year alone and i cant help but feel that the phrase "funny how" is just so apt...okay let me start from the top so its new years day and i had a few guests over. naturally, i couldnt avoid those types of guests who never leave until the johnny walker is through and done. and this one that happened to be the last man standing (barely, in his case) was not the quiet type who would just sit there and just silently drink himself to stupor and go home to sleep and throw up. noooooo, he had to be the talking type. you know, those types who suddenly remember that they pay way too much tax to this god-forsaken country with every gulp of whiskey? yes, exactly. so there i was lying on my sofa in the parlour completely exhausted from a full day of hosting and wondering how to tell dude that i wasn't running a public bar when the power went out. ...

you know, sometimes it beats me silly to think about all the things that i expect will give me happiness and realize very sadly that none of them actually brings the kind of fulfilment that will keep you awake at night just feeling smug at what an achiever you are. its very true when they say "the grass is greener on the other side"...and cliched as this may sound, i am now living through it. to think that there was a time when i thought that getting a job that paid more than my monthly transport fare would be all i needed to be satisfied. then i got that...along with a boss from hell, and then i thought, stuff the money, just give me a boss that will allow me to use my brain and will appreciate my work. and did i get a boss that allowed me to use my brain? well, lets just say he also fried it and served it with french fries by ensuring i worked the longest hours of my entire career. and so i decided i needed/and asked God for, both money and a great boss and then i got thi...