okay so usually, i avoid topics bordering on religion, politics and sexuality...but this one is hard to ignore (and as fearless blogger, i must bite the bullet). i woke up this morning and my timeline was full of comments castigating the bloody waste of time and tax payers money that is the the new anti-same sex marriage law. the nigerian senate passed it into law a few days ago (14 years imprisonment etc).
the honest truth is that everyone is cautious about this topic because it is like holding palm oil while wearing white. no matter what side of the fence you're on in terms of your sexual preference, you are bound to get stained if you as much as say the wrong thing on the matter - and anything you say can and will be wrong. if you disagree with the new law, you're clearly an undercover gay person and if you agree with the new law openly, you're a shameless homophobe. i guess this explains why interestingly, all of the people i know who are vocal against the new law - on social media at least - happen to be those with the ability to travel out of the country (or are presently out of the country).
so i went through many of the comments which ranged from disgust at the use of the word "faggot" by some newspapers in reporting the development, to others who just felt that of all the things ailing nigeria, the senate would devote that much time and manpower towards debating a bill in an area of law that is already fully covered by the Criminal Code. there is a misconception. everyone that is up in arms against the law assumes that it penalizes gayness, it doesn't. that was already penalized in the criminal code. what it does make punishable is "gay marriage" and "public displays" of lewdness, which every right thinking person would have no qualms with.
but here's the ish. in nigeria, as with many other americanized third world countries, gay people are well known but ignored. the attitude from time immemorial has been, if you stay in your own space and don't come near me, then i couldn't give a hoot what you and that other neighbour keep doing every night in your apartment. as a matter of fact, other than the random church mentions of this vice (mentioned in the same sentence as fornication and adultery very quickly in case the church financier just happens to be inclined to such unholy vices), a full grown 30 year old man may never have heard about this issue and frankly, with all we have to grapple with on a daily basis, could not be otherwise interested.
and here is the danger. suddenly, gay folk decide that its not enough to just be ignored. its not enough to be left alone to live out your life in the privacy of your home. its not enough to not be labelled and mocked. not enough to be treated like everyone else...and the decision is made to get married. you know, like we see on television. so i'll play husband sometimes and wife at other times, right? not quite. you see, it is one thing to suspect that your best friend from childhood kinda acts girly and could maybe just not be into girls all that much...but you can live with that only because thats where it ends. he has not offended your sensibilities by going beyond acting soft and you don't have to explain him off to the missus each time he comes to visit. at most, everyone will accept him as being "the shy type" and park it there and move on.
however, as with everything borrowed from american culture, nigerians have a way of outdoing the original owners of every trend. we have outdone them in fashion, we have caught up with music, and we are well on our way with films. heaven alone knows the extent we will go if someone did not step in and insist on maintaining the social balance that has existed for years. nigerians are not stupid. we live in an uneasy truce that we have shed blood to preserve. we assume that all gay people sashay down the street, wear tight bright clothes and seduce children. we can act dumb and we can turn violent in the twinkle of an eye...and this trend copy and paste mentality will take us to the brink of our very co-existence.
and so, although i take absolutely no sides in the debate for or against gayness and all, the move by the national assembly is the only expected move in a mutli-cutural, multi-religious, illiteracy-rife, poverty-ridden, idea-bereft, economically-backward and often volatile country like ours. the alternative is too gruesome to imagine... illiterate northern fanatical folk will slaughter everyone else for desecrating their beliefs and conservative southern folk would have a new preaching topic about nigeria going to hell every sunday for the rest of our lives.
we all agree that everyone should live in freedom to pursue the standard of life for himself and his offspring as he so will, and that starts by keeping sexual activity and preferences, as private as it has always been, for gay and for straight folk.
so thats my two cents peeps. crucify me in the comment section below...its inevitable anyways.
the honest truth is that everyone is cautious about this topic because it is like holding palm oil while wearing white. no matter what side of the fence you're on in terms of your sexual preference, you are bound to get stained if you as much as say the wrong thing on the matter - and anything you say can and will be wrong. if you disagree with the new law, you're clearly an undercover gay person and if you agree with the new law openly, you're a shameless homophobe. i guess this explains why interestingly, all of the people i know who are vocal against the new law - on social media at least - happen to be those with the ability to travel out of the country (or are presently out of the country).
so i went through many of the comments which ranged from disgust at the use of the word "faggot" by some newspapers in reporting the development, to others who just felt that of all the things ailing nigeria, the senate would devote that much time and manpower towards debating a bill in an area of law that is already fully covered by the Criminal Code. there is a misconception. everyone that is up in arms against the law assumes that it penalizes gayness, it doesn't. that was already penalized in the criminal code. what it does make punishable is "gay marriage" and "public displays" of lewdness, which every right thinking person would have no qualms with.
but here's the ish. in nigeria, as with many other americanized third world countries, gay people are well known but ignored. the attitude from time immemorial has been, if you stay in your own space and don't come near me, then i couldn't give a hoot what you and that other neighbour keep doing every night in your apartment. as a matter of fact, other than the random church mentions of this vice (mentioned in the same sentence as fornication and adultery very quickly in case the church financier just happens to be inclined to such unholy vices), a full grown 30 year old man may never have heard about this issue and frankly, with all we have to grapple with on a daily basis, could not be otherwise interested.
and here is the danger. suddenly, gay folk decide that its not enough to just be ignored. its not enough to be left alone to live out your life in the privacy of your home. its not enough to not be labelled and mocked. not enough to be treated like everyone else...and the decision is made to get married. you know, like we see on television. so i'll play husband sometimes and wife at other times, right? not quite. you see, it is one thing to suspect that your best friend from childhood kinda acts girly and could maybe just not be into girls all that much...but you can live with that only because thats where it ends. he has not offended your sensibilities by going beyond acting soft and you don't have to explain him off to the missus each time he comes to visit. at most, everyone will accept him as being "the shy type" and park it there and move on.
however, as with everything borrowed from american culture, nigerians have a way of outdoing the original owners of every trend. we have outdone them in fashion, we have caught up with music, and we are well on our way with films. heaven alone knows the extent we will go if someone did not step in and insist on maintaining the social balance that has existed for years. nigerians are not stupid. we live in an uneasy truce that we have shed blood to preserve. we assume that all gay people sashay down the street, wear tight bright clothes and seduce children. we can act dumb and we can turn violent in the twinkle of an eye...and this trend copy and paste mentality will take us to the brink of our very co-existence.
and so, although i take absolutely no sides in the debate for or against gayness and all, the move by the national assembly is the only expected move in a mutli-cutural, multi-religious, illiteracy-rife, poverty-ridden, idea-bereft, economically-backward and often volatile country like ours. the alternative is too gruesome to imagine... illiterate northern fanatical folk will slaughter everyone else for desecrating their beliefs and conservative southern folk would have a new preaching topic about nigeria going to hell every sunday for the rest of our lives.
we all agree that everyone should live in freedom to pursue the standard of life for himself and his offspring as he so will, and that starts by keeping sexual activity and preferences, as private as it has always been, for gay and for straight folk.
so thats my two cents peeps. crucify me in the comment section below...its inevitable anyways.
Comments
As for you Oroque, considered urself crucified, just exactly as you requested :)
How are u doing?
I really have nothing to add to this issue. No be this one dey worry me right now. I have bigger problems such as, how the hell did i sleep all night instead of waking up to study. I think Nigeria has bigger problems too, but hey, what do i know.
Too true
If gays have been living with us since time immemorial as history books show, then what is all this new found homo-hysteria? At least our fore fathers knew how to live and let live...without our 'oh so charitable Christianity'.
Oroque, you just wrote a post about AIDS, the gay population in Lagos alone has one of the highest HIV transmission rates...and while homophobes might think..thats punishment for them, the joke is that 80% of them are married to your sisters and friends (In order to present a normal face to the society). Tell me who are the real victims now. Homophobe ni. ko.