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who dunnit?

today on the way to work, i happened to be joined by a close friend who kinda came visiting yesterday cos she had work to do on the island. she happened to come to my house in the afternoon while i was at work and caught my neighbour violently beating her 8 year old son, in a way that only nigerian mothers understand. the natural reaction was to salvage whatever was left of the boy, from his mother's hands and at least try and figure out what unbailable offence the boy had committed.

alas, it was a grave offence under the nigerian mother's code. no, it wasn't stealing meat from the cooking pot (you know you all did it), it wasn't being caught in a compromising position with the neighbour's daughter (don't even try to act like you can't relate, guys)...it was the worst of all. Bed wetting. wow, right?

so first thing this morning, thanks to the internet, i checked up on this matter which, to be honest, i was plagued with during childhood. enuresis, as it is known by the medical profession is a condition that often starts in childhood but has been known to extend in some cases, into teenage years. it is often viewed as part of the growing process and doctors are yet to determine how it starts and how to stop it. studies (in the US of course) have shown that bedwetting is highly embarassing for the child and if not well handled by parents, can lead to feelings of extreme anxiety and self-consciousness for the child. sleeping out may become impossible for children that have these issues and this could stem their abilities to socialize later on.

funnily enough, in nigeria, it is the mothers who are embarassed. they seem to feel it is a sign of some failing on their part to properly raise their children. the curches are not helping matters as everything is a spiritual problem, and considering the length of time we all spend in church, it is no wonder that nigerian mothers have pledged to beat the bedwetting condition out of every nigerian child...and they are clearly succeeding.

what struck me as strange however, was the admission by this friend of mine, that she used to bedwet! i found it strange because nobody ever admits to having bedwet and every parent wonders aloud where the child got the habit from. research has shown that bedwetting children most likely have a relative (yes, that includes you mr.dad) that bedwet in their own time. and so if junior is bedwetting, why are mum and dad acting all surprised? is anyone of you going to fess up anytime soon? (clearly not fathers - they always came first in class, worked hardest in the farm and generally lived the perfect life as kids). from a first hand point of view, i was even more shocked that the dream patterns of a bedwetting child that she related to me strikingly similar, i.e. you find yourself playing hard with friends - laughing loud and having fun, feel pressed, move to a corner to ease yourself and actually feel relief. only to open your eyes here in the real world and realize that...oops, you did it again. could there be something here? could a solution be found to bedwetting by studying the obviously similar dream patterns of bedwetting kids? clearly not a nigerian method of solving problems...

to all the young parents who are grappling with this issue, i read that you should: "Remind your child to go to the bathroom one final time before bedtime. Try to have your child drink more fluids during the daytime hours and less at night. Try waking your kid in the middle of the night to use the bathroom but more importantly, when your child wakes with wet sheets, don't yell or spank him or her. Have your child help you change the sheets while explaining that this isn't punishment, but it is a part of the process to helping him stop." the summary of it is, love is the key to getting your child through this rough patch of his existence and out the other end an emotionally complete adult.

and please, if you know you did bedwet as a child, confess to your spouse and show more sympathy and help to the ailing child. holding up the sports page of the newspaper while your wife changes the sheets and deals with the situation isn't exactly justifiable considering your hugely important role in bringing this whole thing about in the first place. and mothers, you really need to stop with the beatings, really...its 2009.

till tomorrow peeps.

Comments

Roc said…
Nice post, and good advice..
I'll be curious for your take on a man who got married only to find his wife bedwets every night..
Same rules apply?

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