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one bad song deserves...

i bet that i've said more than my fair share of crap on nigerian music and if some artistes knew me personally, i'd be holed up in my house all year to avoid being scrubbed on the ground...but you know, they just won't let me be. first off, i can't stand it when musicians (as part of their lyrics) insult people. calling everyone who criticizes them even a little, jealous etcetera - yes, timaya, i am talking to you. since my scathing comments on their lack of originality hasnt stopped them churning out rubbish, neither will their calling people like me jealous, stop me from calling them out on their crap.

today, i'll need y'all to head to youtube and check out the following videos and then please let me know if i'm talking rubbish. maybe i should do this in terms of absolutely hate to manageably love.

number 1 - absolutely hate - goes to P.Square for their "Danger" single. these two guys hit us in the face like a bucket of ice water in scorching heat and just brought michael jackson and usher together to the nigerian music stage. their dance routines could be compared to the best in the world and it was obvious they took the music thingy rather seriously. so i find it kinda hard to come to terms with their chanting "wahala dey" all over the place like some stammering kid trying to mime to a broken record. there is something to be said for musicians who know when their fifteen minutes of fame is up and exit the scene for younger fresher talent...maybe to come back later. but to try and extend your time in the spotlight by ruining your career highlights with crappy songs like "Danger" is just so nigerian (cue Tuface Idibia with "enter the place" - the only place he should enter is back in his house at the village and save our ears).

number 2 - e for better - goes to Waje for her "Kolo" single. now i know that we're all for being proudly nigerian and all, but i'm also certain that we've overflogged the word "kolo" into its eighth life. i guess artistes cannot think of a more nigerian slang than the word kolo, and so ever since it propelled the artiste Faze to fame, everyone from Bracket to Waje now adopts it to varying levels of success. to be honest, Bracket's attempt does not equate with Faze's "kolomental" in terms of breakthrough concept etcetera but it wasn't half bad...except for the P.Square (again!) bit where all they could sing about as lyrics was how people critized them for their inability to sing or how they copied their beats from others and... yawn! zzzzzzzzz....moving on quickly from that then was Waje's version which was more upbeat and clubby except that she tanked it with THAT video. I mean please, isn't it enough that you 'tried' to copy Beyonce's hair in "single ladies"? did you have to wear tights and dance in the shadows like she did in her "diva" video? c'mon. ask Faze to teach you a bit about "originality".

number 3 - not bad at all - goes to Omawumi for her "Today na Today" single. Okay, its not fair for me to comment on that song because everyone knows I have a bias for Omawumi ever since her "in the music" hit the airwaves and shook radio stations down to their underpants. however, she needs to chill with trying ever so hard to sound foreign. the level at which she incorporates foreign beats into her songs leaves them quite difficult to understand. that was the same issue with "in the music" and it took several listens to get that it was a nigerian song with a south african beat. this new video though...well, lets just say i dont get the part where she's running around in the dark trying to steal something from an art gallery. once again omawumi, nigerians dont connect with those sorts of sublime messages in music videos. all we want to see in a music video is you dancing. period. can you do that for us? thanks.

number 4 - manageably love - goes to Maino for his "All the Above" single. The song refuses to leave my head although truth is, there's nothing fantastic about the video. hold on a second, what? maino's not nigerian? sheesh...with that scar on his face, he coulda fooled me. but hey, maybe thats why the song rocks...

till tomorrow peeps. and yeah, please dont forget to answer my question (on my Facebook page) regarding why my friends over 27 are still unmarried. I'll write about my theory here as soon as I've got enough answers. See ya around

Comments

Roc said…
Pretty harsh assessment in my books..

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