Skip to main content

the o factor...

nigerians really like to feel cool. thats a fact. if you are nigerian, or have lived in nigeria long enough, one of the first things you'll notice is how people just like to identify with whatever the rave is. seriously, even ridiculous trends just catch on like wild fire down here. good example was the time when suddenly all the young girls who managed to gain admission into university felt that it was a show of americanism to use the phrase "like, you know" in every sentence. for no apparent reason, and with no heed to grammatical correctness. you'd hear an over made up girl telling her friend: "so the guy told me, like, you know, that he wants to be my boyfriend, so i'm like i beg your pardon, and he was moving back and feeling cool, like you know, walking away from me until he just fell into the gutter, like you know, like this". i mean, damn. thankfully that passed real quick (or maybe i just grew too old to notice).

and so yesterday, someone who works for my company picked up the phone when i called him, and assuming i was my friend peter, instantly said "petowski, whats up". two things, firstly this was my office line, hence the fact that even if it was peter, it was most likely a professional call, and secondly, is there a cultural problem with sticking to people's God given english names without ridiculous modifications? i mean, the average nigerian guy just adds an "o" to every other guys name. again, for no apparent reason. and so mike = myko, steve  = stevo, femi = femo, ralph = ralpho. i mean, people! and so, with the sternest voice, i say, "hello, this is not peter, its Orok" and i braced myself for the inevitable, because true to form, next thing i heard was (and you guessed right), "Oroko, whats up". what?!!! that doesn't even sound right?! what on earth is that, a cornflakes brand?!

don't get me wrong, i'm not new to the name change game as i have had my name mutilated from the day i entered kindergarten. my ghanian primary school teachers used to call me "Arak", in secondary school my yoruba teachers called me "Horror", and in university (Lord help me), i was called everything from "Rokovelli", "The Rock" (i like that one), "Rockstar", "Okro" (Lanre Obadina is to thank for this one), "Orokunle", "Orokiki", "Oropo" (don't even ask how that resembled my name in any way) and then "Rolex". Can people just stick with "Orok"? its shorter, simpler and my parents would appreciate it. Plus, i think i have enough issues with the name already, having to spell it out each time i make a phonecall to a bank or GSM call centre. we spend half the time trying to get my name right, so now, i just cut the crap and go straight to the point: "hello good morning, is this stanbis ibtc? my name is orok, thats "O for orange, R for Rhino, O for Awesome and K for Kidding". thanks.

so anyways, there's nothing happening in the news, the PHCN has called off the senseless strike, and life has moved on. Truth is, the definition of a senseless strike is not one that was absolutely unnecessary, because this strike was indeed necessary, but one which has an economic value that outweighs the human value. to me, when something has the potential of having a greater human effect than a monetary recompense, then it should be shelved as being senseless. but hey, thats just me...

I heard on the radio that some prominent nigerian thinks that IBB should indeed be begging nigerians to forgive him for dele giwa and the cancellation of the June 12 elections, instead of arrogantly pursuing his already failed ambition to become president in a form of government that he did everything to stop from materializing. Sometimes, it makes me joyous to realize that my views aren't totally out of sync with the common public psyche.

The way president goodluck jonathan works his magic and solves problems at the speed of light, makes me like him some more. during obasanjo's era, and thats my favourite era by the way, this strike would have lasted at least 4 days, while both government and the striking workers posture and fight a media war, before they finally collect 10% of what they were fighting for, and then move on. President Jonathan also unveiled the "Power blueprint" yesterday, and apart from the heavy police presence in lagos and the inconvenience of having to give way for sirens and things every other minute, i applaud the initiative. it shows that if nothing else, we finally have a thinking president, and one who is at least slightly more interested in the common good than his predecessors. he made it clear that the additional megawatts of electricity to be generated would overwhelm the current transmission network which would then need to be upgraded before we can improve the supply across the country. i like it when people have the foresight to anticipate future issues and manage expectations early. if only he was not in the PDP, i just may have voted for him.

speaking of voting, if anyone knows when they start voter registration, please give me a call or buzz my BBM. and while you're at it, please just call me Orok. nothing else.

thanks a burnsh.

Comments

F.O. said…
Nice one. Orok.. Your writing keeps getting berra with each post... More like the boy is finally becoming a Man! Kip it up..
YankeeNaija said…
great job Orok. really great post Orok.
ZeL said…
I enjoyed reading.

Lol@cornflakes and at the nicknames...

I dont agree wt u on Goodluck tho. I'd be shattered if he wins. He's just been spending recklessly. N10bn for Independence celebrations. 3 new presidential jets N23bn ...C'mon there must more important things to do

Popular posts from this blog

awards my big black...er...foot!

i'm hard pressed not to write about the nigerin blog awards but (i) it wont be fair to all my readers and people who took the time to vote for this blog (ii) i still don't understand my mental state when i decided to participate in it and (iii) i'm as bitter as a older wives meeting a new wife for the first time. to cut a morbid story short: i did not win a damn acknowledgement (much less an award). after all my toiling, having to degrade myself to the point of begging for votes from people who i really never wanted to know about my blog or read the contents thereof, after making people i hold in extreme high regard leave their daily activities and set out to vote for something so trivial, and aafter i waited ages for the darn result to be announced, i still didn't win a matchstick. i know there is something called graciously accepting the results of a competition when it doesn't go your way, but please. i'll probably never have a reason to spew out the diat

nigeria and the needless debate

okay so usually, i avoid topics bordering on religion, politics and sexuality...but this one is hard to ignore (and as fearless blogger, i must bite the bullet). i woke up this morning and my timeline was full of comments castigating the bloody waste of time and tax payers money that is the the new anti-same sex marriage law. the nigerian senate passed it into law a few days ago (14 years imprisonment etc). the honest truth is that everyone is cautious about this topic because it is like holding palm oil while wearing white. no matter what side of the fence you're on in terms of your sexual preference, you are bound to get stained if you as much as say the wrong thing on the matter - and anything you say can and will be wrong. if you disagree with the new law, you're clearly an undercover gay person and if you agree with the new law openly, you're a shameless homophobe. i guess this explains why interestingly, all of the people i know who are vocal against the new law - o

Of #MoreThanPlatitudes

Look at this picture. That's one of the children being rescued from a collapsed school building in Lagos, Nigeria. You don't have a be a parent and I won't pander to your better instincts. Tell me this is acceptable or should be allowed to occur again. The President sent condolence messages and the Governor visited the site then said the state emergency services will do all they can cliched response. the end. and people moved on. The heartbreaking pictures of the children pulled out half dazed with cement dust all over their little noses (Exhibit A) did not let me sleep last night. I have gone to drop a comment on the governor's pages on all social media platforms that we need #MoreThanPlatitudes 🚫❌ We need to hear what policy changes are triggered by the death of these babies. The Commissioner of Education must address Lagosians and set up a project team with the Commissioner for Works or Town Planning etc to undertake an immediate structural integrity test