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just when i think i've heard it all...

i have heard it all. everytime i think i have heard everything, something comes from the blues and shocks me stiff. here are my most recent shockers:

yesterday was saturday 26 february 2011. in lagos nigeria, the air was charged with celebration, everyone was talking among each other about this great son of the soil that was returning after being away for two long years, his family and friends had put in newspaper advert days earlier announcing the thanksgiving service that will bring the entire town to a halt. and that thanksgiving was yesterday. it was aired on television and the fanfare was palpable...so was the question: "exactly what are we celebrating?". you see, chief bode george used to be a political force to be reckoned with. he was the south west chairman of the ruling party and as part of his political compensation, was made chairman and chief exploiter of the national ports authority. to cut a sordid story short, he robbed the entire government agency dry, made his wife a director, syphoned money till the basic needs of the agency could hardly be met, and then mistakenly fell out of favour with his government allies. and so, suddenly and swiftly, he moved from being the untouchable pillar of the party in the southwest to being convited for embezzlement and corrupt enrichment. and yes, as you guessed, in nigeria, his release is cause for celebration. for some misguided people, he was being persecuted. clearly he wasn't the only one who cleaned out whole government agencies with reckless abandon, so his imprisonment was completely against the norm. sad? the impunity of his camp to openly ridicule the public by seeking to celebrate him is even more worrisome. the worst of all is, that the ruling party rolled out the drums for him and the president of this great country was reported to be aligned with this celebration. unbelievable.

unfortunately, as long as the educated and literate are left pursuing their daily bread under the present economic conditions, the illiterates will continue to run the country with their cronies and we are left with whining as the only option. speaking of illiteracy, some of you may know that i attend a certain church and that we have been fasting through the month of february. yes, fasting. don't give me that look like you can't believe i can actually fast...truth is i did start well, but you know how strenuous work is...yeah. so anyways, yesterday i was with a church fellow who came around with his brother. as soon as i opened the door and he said goodmorning, i could tell that he had probably been fasting without breaking for three days straight. i mean, i doubt that maccleans can save THAT situation after the fast but i digress. so me being me, i immediately say "did you just wake up and come here?" he says "no, we went to brother so and so's house and we say we should branch", so i said "did you brush before leaving the house?" (we're kinda close, plus he's used to my bluntness before y'all carry placards against my inhumanity to slow witted folk) and his response was: "are we not fasting?"...yes, you heard right. so i said, "of course we are fasting but i brush every morning", to which he replies, "you have spoilt your fast once water touches your mouth". :::silence::: i swear i have indeed heard it all.

you know, i try hard to be civil and diplomatic and to keep my really stinging opinion to myself but seriously?????? somehow, i have a feeling that he probably heard that from one of these christian tapes recorded by some unknown minister in some church in some far away country and he was blessed by the message. well, to each his own. needless to say, his brother supported his view and said that water is not supposed to touch your mouth when you are fasting. i couldn't argue because each minute i spent in this dialogue was indeed a sacrifice for humanity.

on to other more important news, i have officially fallen off the gym bandwagon. i can't keep up folk. and i know my confession is not as dramatic as when oprah admitted she would never be kate moss, but it hurts to think that i can fail in anything. i worked so hard at it and all, but after six long gruelling weeks of starving myself and climbing the treadmill come rain come sunshine; losing only one kilogram was unacceptable. so i think i'm better off fat. some people are blind, broke, homeless, orphaned and suicidal so i guess living with being fat is something i can pull off. and how do i know i've fallen off? a manager at work saw me and yelled across the room: "orok!!!" i thought she was excited to see me and i turned round and waved until i saw the horror on her face. she drew a semi circle in front of her stomach and with all the shock in the world said "i'm not feeling THAT at all! did the gym move?". i just smiled but ouch!...especially since i havent even been eating well (rice and two pieces of chicken with salad and cream plus fried plantain and moi moi everyday doesn't qualify as eating well peeps, seriously) so there, i give up.

there's so much more to tell y'all but thats till much later. P.S: i think love found me. no comments y'all. :)

see y'all around peeps!

Comments

Ginger said…
Well, one can never say that Nigerians don't know their Bible.
From emulating the loving Father in the story of the Prodigal Son aka Bode George to
Keeping the mouth unwashed and unwatered in a fast aka John the Baptist maybe? Poor guy..

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