this morning i'm heading out of my house at 6am when i see a fully dressed woman, suit and all, pressing the bell of the creche a few houses away with her really small baby (i hazard say 3 months old) on her shoulder. for some unknown reason my heart went out to her...i've clearly been having some inexplicable emotions lately from the randomest ish...i hope its not all that weed i've been smoking. (thats to stop chinene from saying its mid life crisis).
i have suddenly realized after struggling so hard to attain the peaceful life i now live, that i am friendless! i can't remember the last time i saw any of my friends, i have missed all namings, birthdays, weddings and funerals for the last 5 or so years. i have stopped being invited to random things like house-warmings or welcome-home parties, and i frankly don't know much about anyone else. yet, i dont feel anti-social or detached in any way. i feel like i know exactly where my sister is and what she's up to, i can tell how all the babies in my life are evolving and growing, i know who got promoted and who got married. its almost as if i stopped living a physical life and migrated seamlessly to a digital one. without missing a beat, without slowing my pace at work, without getting stuck in traffic, and without the nightmare of having visitors overstay their welcome :), i am on top of my social connections. or so i think.
anyways, back to my feelings this morning. at first all i thought was, 'how sad it must be for that woman to leave her child to complete strangers at this stage where bonding is at its peak'...and then the baby moved its head ever so slightly and i realized it was awake. and my heart broke even more. i could see the man at the steering wheel looking at them intently as if he was expecting to catch the baby if anything happened. and then as i drove past them after filling out my gate-pass i began to wonder, if i had the power, what would i do differently. does it really tear women apart to let go of their baby that early in the morning to go to work? do parents wish they could do otherwise? can you possibly focus at work knowing that your baby is probably somewhere wailing itself hoarse while the "aunty" is busy trying to pacify another wailing baby? how does this whole creche thing work even? who ensures that your baby is not about to get electrocuted by an open socket? what about transmittable diseases?
before i exploded my brain with impure thoughts about baby-care and stuff i knew next to nothing about, i began to ask myself: would it hurt the private sector if the labour laws were amended to address this obvious issue. would companies fold if they are asked to provide staff child care programmes the same way we are mandated to set aside pension? i mean, just think...if there was a law that mandated employers to register every pregnant staff with a creche at the employers cost, located within a prescribed distance from the workplace and permit parents to come in one-hour after resumption time for the first year of a child's birth, would it really hurt employers? would it further entrench discrimination in the employment of women? i remember having a discussion with someone respectable once and he made a comment about how he would employ one woman for every ten men when he becomes the MD because his secretary took in immediately after resuming from maternity leave the year before and her pregnancies have become disruptive to the business. yeah, sentiments aside...that makes perfect business sense. so maybe this whole change the law thing would be an overkill.
on the other hand, i have friends with children, some two and some heading to a football team. and i find that they don't pay as much heed as one would think. they don't fuss and they don't worry, sometimes they appear even lacadaisical where the ordinary by-stander is panicked. they consider falls, cuts, screams and smell as completely non-existent and carry on like nothing happened. so again, i may be reading the whole scenario wrong and maybe parents are actually overjoyed to leave the pesky lil babies in the care of someone else for the whole day while they are spared the tears, noise and poop. help me out here peeps.
well, whichever it is, one thing is certain. for every mother who works (including mine who has worked since i opened my eyes), i dedicate today to you...it cannot be easy to take crap at work from a chauvinist boss, come home to an egotistical spouse and pay due attention to an attention-seeking child. i can only hope that its all worth it in the end.
see y'all around peeps.
i have suddenly realized after struggling so hard to attain the peaceful life i now live, that i am friendless! i can't remember the last time i saw any of my friends, i have missed all namings, birthdays, weddings and funerals for the last 5 or so years. i have stopped being invited to random things like house-warmings or welcome-home parties, and i frankly don't know much about anyone else. yet, i dont feel anti-social or detached in any way. i feel like i know exactly where my sister is and what she's up to, i can tell how all the babies in my life are evolving and growing, i know who got promoted and who got married. its almost as if i stopped living a physical life and migrated seamlessly to a digital one. without missing a beat, without slowing my pace at work, without getting stuck in traffic, and without the nightmare of having visitors overstay their welcome :), i am on top of my social connections. or so i think.
anyways, back to my feelings this morning. at first all i thought was, 'how sad it must be for that woman to leave her child to complete strangers at this stage where bonding is at its peak'...and then the baby moved its head ever so slightly and i realized it was awake. and my heart broke even more. i could see the man at the steering wheel looking at them intently as if he was expecting to catch the baby if anything happened. and then as i drove past them after filling out my gate-pass i began to wonder, if i had the power, what would i do differently. does it really tear women apart to let go of their baby that early in the morning to go to work? do parents wish they could do otherwise? can you possibly focus at work knowing that your baby is probably somewhere wailing itself hoarse while the "aunty" is busy trying to pacify another wailing baby? how does this whole creche thing work even? who ensures that your baby is not about to get electrocuted by an open socket? what about transmittable diseases?
before i exploded my brain with impure thoughts about baby-care and stuff i knew next to nothing about, i began to ask myself: would it hurt the private sector if the labour laws were amended to address this obvious issue. would companies fold if they are asked to provide staff child care programmes the same way we are mandated to set aside pension? i mean, just think...if there was a law that mandated employers to register every pregnant staff with a creche at the employers cost, located within a prescribed distance from the workplace and permit parents to come in one-hour after resumption time for the first year of a child's birth, would it really hurt employers? would it further entrench discrimination in the employment of women? i remember having a discussion with someone respectable once and he made a comment about how he would employ one woman for every ten men when he becomes the MD because his secretary took in immediately after resuming from maternity leave the year before and her pregnancies have become disruptive to the business. yeah, sentiments aside...that makes perfect business sense. so maybe this whole change the law thing would be an overkill.
on the other hand, i have friends with children, some two and some heading to a football team. and i find that they don't pay as much heed as one would think. they don't fuss and they don't worry, sometimes they appear even lacadaisical where the ordinary by-stander is panicked. they consider falls, cuts, screams and smell as completely non-existent and carry on like nothing happened. so again, i may be reading the whole scenario wrong and maybe parents are actually overjoyed to leave the pesky lil babies in the care of someone else for the whole day while they are spared the tears, noise and poop. help me out here peeps.
well, whichever it is, one thing is certain. for every mother who works (including mine who has worked since i opened my eyes), i dedicate today to you...it cannot be easy to take crap at work from a chauvinist boss, come home to an egotistical spouse and pay due attention to an attention-seeking child. i can only hope that its all worth it in the end.
see y'all around peeps.
Comments
Amazing tribute my friend. It brought a smile to my face (somewhere towards the end).
You will get to this point someday and you will learn to condition yourself to block out the what-ifs. We have a creche at my office which is an absolute life-saver but i daresay it has its share of disadvantages. I can imagine that in Lagos, mothers would rather have their children in creches closer home than have to shuttle across town in dreadful traffic with them at the end of the day. Don't get me wrong,i am all for establishments providing the option and letting mothers decide what works best for them.
Kudos again! didn't see this one coming.
And thanks for making scared-level rise again! *sideeye*