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Thursday, February 21, 2013

of living vanity

as you know, i'm a stuck up lawyer, living out my innermost thoughts through this blog. i never let my guard down, i never do anything borderline wrong, i just never do anything, period. so the other day i decided on a whim that i was going to live life a little and take professional photographs, just because. i figured that life will go by whether i use it and enjoy it or just sit by and watch it. plus i could afford it so whaddaheck. at first i tried to justify this need for vanity by telling everyone that it was my anniversary year professionally so i would just go in and take one lawyerly shot with myself in full attire etc. but then i got into the studio, and it hit me: i am vain. case in point:


not only did i go with four sets of costume changes, i had spent the day before doing emergency sit-ups and rehearsing my poses in front of my bathroom mirror. don't judge me.

an interesting thing with photographs is that you don't see anything other than the subject. i went for the photoshoot thinking it was like the usual baba ibadan photography where you just plunk yourself behind a plain coloured wall and watch the man wriggle, kneel, climb some item and roll all the while taking picture after picture, all of which you will end up hating. boy, was i wrong. firstly, the studio was the biggest collection of lighting i had ever seen and there were at least 15 people in that room, all doing different things...a set of models in some corner, and this incredibly beautiful 7 (?) year old girl who apparently came to take professional modeling shots. yes, you heard right. behind the camera was the photographer and two assistants and then other people just standing there for good measure etc. it was a mad house. how anyone expected me to strike perfect poses is beyond me. mad respect to kim kardashian etc

and then, after putting on my clothes and getting ready to jump on the stage and take the shots, i was greeted by a lovely young lady who said it was time for my 'make up'...like, for real? but then hey, who am i kidding, even childhood pictures with baba ibadan would require a fine dusting of way-too-much powder from my mum etc, so lets do this. until i saw:



on my one face?! you have got to be kidding me. i swear the fashion industry is a huge lie, showing you perfect people but not telling you what they've done to achieve it...damn. so, after all the wet smudges, powdery substances and glossy stuff had been plastered on my face and lips, i was ready to go. then it occured to me how awkward it is to actually pose and force a smile in front of 20 strangers without looking downright stupid. with all the styling assistance i could get and all the holding my breath till i almost passed out, i still hated more than half the pictures taken (i already called myself vain, so yeah). but then in between my costume changes, miss little 7-year old model jumps up there and goes tyra banks on me. giving them perfect shot after perfect shot after perfectly too-grown-up shot. i'm not even kidding...in one shot she had this semi-lying down look with legs apart and staring into the camera with her head down type thing (all by herself) and it made me cringe.  i couldn't help wondering, does part of a parent die watching their children strike near-sexy poses at this age? does it not kill a mum to know that her lil girl knows way too much for her age? where does one draw the line between allowing children pursue their dreams early and stepping on the brakes? this is also what i think when i see beauty pageants for kids and teenagers...with still developing bodies in an industry where adults prey on them and give them a standard of beauty that is not sustainable. what happens when she's 26 and not everything is how it used to be? will she be able to accept herself without extensive make up and when things start to droop and wrinkle? i don't know really.

so anyways, thats what i've been up to for those of you wondering. its taken me a while to get the courage to put up these pictures cos my stomach is all over the place, but you know, half of you see it everyday anyways, and the rest of you already know its there so hey. i hope you like the pictures...and if you don't, i truly honestly sincerely couldn't care less. no offence. :)

see y'all around peeps.






5 comments:

Toinlicious said...

i love the 1st and the last one. The last one is almost bez-like :*

So the emergency sit-ups worked. I can almost see a 1 pack...almost #flees

RQ said...

LMAO! i swear you didn't just...i can't even...never mind. LOL!

Chinene said...

U vain u...well my take on kids in professional adult-like modelling n pageants:sad. I shudder when i imagine perverts oogling them (nothing justifies perversion in d 1st place).
So on ur professional pix...nice (my fav is d penultimate one). U could have done one or two without d specs tho for variety (like I wld sign off without looking for trouble *scuttles*)

Wilfred Mong said...

Hmmm! Used to think smiling in pix was one of da easiest things to do... Can see you tried to force a smile in some of the pics, just wouldn't come out!

Nice glasses though!

RQ said...

i swear WM! it just wouldnt come out!!! LMAO.