Get your note pad.
1. If you're below 40, or a woman, employees default position is that you'll "understand" and not be so uptight and strict about the rules
2. If you're a woman, you're expected to smile sweetly all the time and generally appreciate compliments about your appearance. It's called the "airhead Blondie rule"... Encourage this stereotype at your own peril.
3. If you're 35 and below, New staff always start every conversation with "when I was in xyz company", or "when I used to be head of bla bla bla in 1979". They're trying to remind you that they used to be big shots too and you should give them special treatment
4. If you rose through the ranks at the company you're in, older colleagues do the most to remind you that you used to be one of them. They'll make crude jokes or subtly condescending comments in front of newer staff just to give the impression that your authority does not apply to them. Guys are the worst at this and refuse to let go of old familiarity.
5. If you're an unmarried male, male colleagues always think they are entitled to point out eligible interns and discuss female colleague anatomy with you...and you should "get it". Also you're supposed to share war stories about your love life.
6. There are always always always agendas at Management level. Not everyone acts because they love the company. More than half the time, there are unspoken alliances along tribal lines and caucuses. Some of these are very powerful and can rally together to make your work miserable if you refuse to join their clique or support every cause they drive.
So... After identifying these potential pitfalls, how should you behave? Your goal being professional respect and authority, preserving your credibility and impartiality with the extended ability to police others and insist that they do the right thing all the time.
Behavior A: accept that you're a bitch ass lame wanna be who thinks he's better than everyone. Don't try to fit in. That won't pay your bills. As soon as you become legal counsel, you have no gender, tribe or color. You belong to everybody and belong to nobody.
Behavior B: shoot unacceptable behaviors down very firmly the very first time they occur. Usually people test the waters with you to see what they can get away with. One person does it successfully and suddenly it is office culture and you lose a bit of your authority and obligation to enforce a professional environment where the weak and strong are equal.
Behavior C: this is an office not a bar. Your fellow male colleagues have to get the memo that you're not trying to be "one of the guys". Walk away from group water cooler bonding sessions. Cut conversations short with no shame when they go in the wrong direction. Never encourage guy talk about female colleague boobs and derrier. You're Legal counsel not the bar man.
Behavior D: never laugh off a condescending or inappropriate comment. Put people quickly in their place. Older colleagues need to realize things have changed. Sometimes you need to have one on one conversations and explain to them that you're not being a diva and that you count on them to help you succeed. Usually that works and they feel like your ally. If that fails, get firm. If they cut into your sentences, tell them to let you finish and then they can have their go. Tell them to shut the door when they get into your office, take a few seconds longer to type while they stand there waiting for you to give them attention, then if they try to make small talk or give you compliments kill it by ignoring the chit chat and saying "so how can I help"...with a very straight face. These tiny cues assert your control over the space and the conversation and the gist spreads that you're no nonsense.
Behavior E: at Management level, never take sides. If you're forced to choose, take good points made by both sides. Then explain why you think logic supports one more than the other. Always be the voice of logic and reason. You earn respect more and more when you open your mouth cos they never know which way you're going to swing. Never encourage tribal jokes even in private. People always try to chip in stuff like "anyway I expect her to want more investment in Lagos na, Yoruba people sef" in professional conversations. I never let it go and point out vocally that there's nothing Yoruba about it and that ibo people (or the person's tribe) have been known to do worse. Usually they say it was a joke and then I give the fake laugh and change topic. Point made. Note that whatever you say in private is ALWAYS repeated out of context.
Finally. Behavior F: protect low level and weaker employees. It is your duty. Office relationships are fine if consensual. But if a guy uses inappropriate endearment on a female colleague, it is my business to stop him. If he kisses her on the cheek or hugs her from behind despite her constant protests, it is my business. Nigerians generally don't want to be the cause of another person getting fired. However over bearing male behavior begins to create a free for all environment where women are objectified and people begin to dread coming to work feeling helpless to stop behavior they don't appreciate. Legal counsel must be voltron without being asked. It starts from being very okay with being hated and isolated.
Make friends with your salary... That's all you need.
1. If you're below 40, or a woman, employees default position is that you'll "understand" and not be so uptight and strict about the rules
2. If you're a woman, you're expected to smile sweetly all the time and generally appreciate compliments about your appearance. It's called the "airhead Blondie rule"... Encourage this stereotype at your own peril.
3. If you're 35 and below, New staff always start every conversation with "when I was in xyz company", or "when I used to be head of bla bla bla in 1979". They're trying to remind you that they used to be big shots too and you should give them special treatment
4. If you rose through the ranks at the company you're in, older colleagues do the most to remind you that you used to be one of them. They'll make crude jokes or subtly condescending comments in front of newer staff just to give the impression that your authority does not apply to them. Guys are the worst at this and refuse to let go of old familiarity.
5. If you're an unmarried male, male colleagues always think they are entitled to point out eligible interns and discuss female colleague anatomy with you...and you should "get it". Also you're supposed to share war stories about your love life.
6. There are always always always agendas at Management level. Not everyone acts because they love the company. More than half the time, there are unspoken alliances along tribal lines and caucuses. Some of these are very powerful and can rally together to make your work miserable if you refuse to join their clique or support every cause they drive.
So... After identifying these potential pitfalls, how should you behave? Your goal being professional respect and authority, preserving your credibility and impartiality with the extended ability to police others and insist that they do the right thing all the time.
Behavior A: accept that you're a bitch ass lame wanna be who thinks he's better than everyone. Don't try to fit in. That won't pay your bills. As soon as you become legal counsel, you have no gender, tribe or color. You belong to everybody and belong to nobody.
Behavior B: shoot unacceptable behaviors down very firmly the very first time they occur. Usually people test the waters with you to see what they can get away with. One person does it successfully and suddenly it is office culture and you lose a bit of your authority and obligation to enforce a professional environment where the weak and strong are equal.
Behavior C: this is an office not a bar. Your fellow male colleagues have to get the memo that you're not trying to be "one of the guys". Walk away from group water cooler bonding sessions. Cut conversations short with no shame when they go in the wrong direction. Never encourage guy talk about female colleague boobs and derrier. You're Legal counsel not the bar man.
Behavior D: never laugh off a condescending or inappropriate comment. Put people quickly in their place. Older colleagues need to realize things have changed. Sometimes you need to have one on one conversations and explain to them that you're not being a diva and that you count on them to help you succeed. Usually that works and they feel like your ally. If that fails, get firm. If they cut into your sentences, tell them to let you finish and then they can have their go. Tell them to shut the door when they get into your office, take a few seconds longer to type while they stand there waiting for you to give them attention, then if they try to make small talk or give you compliments kill it by ignoring the chit chat and saying "so how can I help"...with a very straight face. These tiny cues assert your control over the space and the conversation and the gist spreads that you're no nonsense.
Behavior E: at Management level, never take sides. If you're forced to choose, take good points made by both sides. Then explain why you think logic supports one more than the other. Always be the voice of logic and reason. You earn respect more and more when you open your mouth cos they never know which way you're going to swing. Never encourage tribal jokes even in private. People always try to chip in stuff like "anyway I expect her to want more investment in Lagos na, Yoruba people sef" in professional conversations. I never let it go and point out vocally that there's nothing Yoruba about it and that ibo people (or the person's tribe) have been known to do worse. Usually they say it was a joke and then I give the fake laugh and change topic. Point made. Note that whatever you say in private is ALWAYS repeated out of context.
Finally. Behavior F: protect low level and weaker employees. It is your duty. Office relationships are fine if consensual. But if a guy uses inappropriate endearment on a female colleague, it is my business to stop him. If he kisses her on the cheek or hugs her from behind despite her constant protests, it is my business. Nigerians generally don't want to be the cause of another person getting fired. However over bearing male behavior begins to create a free for all environment where women are objectified and people begin to dread coming to work feeling helpless to stop behavior they don't appreciate. Legal counsel must be voltron without being asked. It starts from being very okay with being hated and isolated.
Make friends with your salary... That's all you need.
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