here's a brief summary of the new movie in Nigeria, its an independent production happening in real time, quite like reality TV shows, but only more scandalous. It's titled "when we were true". as always, its directed, produced and acted out by the same folks so grab a popcorn and coke, sit tight and listen attentively.
for those of you who live outside nigeria/on a floating meteor in outer space, you may not have heard about the headline kidnapping of five journalists on their way from one of the south eastern states in Nigeria. They apparently went to attend some event somewhere and were returning in a vehicle, when they were abducted. Usually, news of kidnappings in the south east region of Nigeria do not exactly make headline news anymore, as Nigerians have grown immune to this new criminal vice (as with everything else) and have just decided to let go and move on.
However, since these were journalists involved, their colleagues in the print and television media carried the news on per-minute rotation, getting statements and comments from every person in authority, getting the tough talking police to do their work .i.e. to talk even tougher and catch no criminals, and to beam the searchlight on the poor poor poor families of the abducted journalists. Naturally, with this news waving in my face everywhere i turned, I had no choice than to secretly hope that the journalists would be freed. As with all such kidnappings, a ransome was demanded for their release but hang on, did you say 250 million naira? what are the kidnappers hoping to do with all that money, open a bank? how on earth do they expect to filter off two million naira without a trace, but well, i speak foolishly because i was alive and well when it was reported that Andy Uba was apprehended in a foreign airport with a million US dollars, so hey.
Anyways, then on the weekend, news broke that the journalists had been "abandoned". A friend of mine made the point that the emphasis was on the fact that they were not "released", or "rescued" but simply abandoned by the kidnappers. Basically, unlike in the U.S. where there would have been some action to secure the release of the journalists, in Nigeria, we just wait until kidnappers are tired of holding the victim and pray they dont kill them eventually. simple solution to simple problem.
I know you would expect that the story ends there. phew, right?...wrong! As with all things Nigerian, there had to be a twist to that story otherwise we wouldn't be the world's third largest movie producer.
As soon as the journalists were found, they seem to have appointed a spokesman in the person of one Wahab Oba, to address the press, conduct interviews, make statements and overall field all questions relating to their ordeal. In some bizarre manner, this same man was everywhere, recalling their plight in the bid to cement the existing public sympathy and maybe prolong their five minutes of fame. As always happens, the more you talk, the more likely you'll slip up and expose yourself as not being completely truthful. And so Mr. Man decides to tell the whole world that although no ransome was paid to the kidnappers, they lost all their valuables to the kidnappers...you know, random everyday stuff like watches, laptops, phones and the 3 million naira that just happened to be in their possession. yeah, you know, like its pretty standard for Nigerians to be travelling around merrily with 3 million naira just lying around in their pockets. in case you are wondering, 3 million naira is just about my annual salary. BEFORE TAX. so there.
So there i was asking everyone who cared to listen, why isn't anyone investigating exactly why they were in possession of 3 million naira cash in the first place? were they hoping to get kidnapped and maybe use it to pay their way out? was there no single bank all along the interstate roads through which they travelled? who owns that money and what is the source?
And then, in a deft move of fate that is very unusual in Nigeria, the police caught the kidnappers. i know you think "really? the Nigeria Police actually caught one criminal?"...but yes, they apparently did. and well, what do you know? kidnappers deny dispossessing them of ANY money. well, yes you may say criminals would lie anyways, but then suddenly, the spokesman for the group, the said Mr. Wahab Oba goes on record to say it wasn't actually up to 3 million that was taken from them, just about 1.6 million (like that just blows all the questions away) and that a certain governor gave them 1 million naira CASH for yet-to-be-disclosed reasons. And I always thought journalists were the conscience of the public...well, i guess we've all lost our conscience right there. Till now the said governor has not tried to clear his name or explain the purpose for which large cash sums were disbursed, and if those were his personal funds or tax-payers money.
Okay, so right now, I've just about had it with Nigeria. Since these men are journalists, this story is very likely to just die real quick before the public begins to demand answers to the many inconsistencies that are rearing their heads. So there, tell me you didn't enjoy that movie...i told you, only in Nigeria does this absurd happen.
One last thing before I go, er...Mr. Wahab, the cardinal rule to lying is, say as little as possible and then use the phrase "i can't discuss this as the matter is under investigation" a lot. Works for the police all the time.
See y'all around peeps!
for those of you who live outside nigeria/on a floating meteor in outer space, you may not have heard about the headline kidnapping of five journalists on their way from one of the south eastern states in Nigeria. They apparently went to attend some event somewhere and were returning in a vehicle, when they were abducted. Usually, news of kidnappings in the south east region of Nigeria do not exactly make headline news anymore, as Nigerians have grown immune to this new criminal vice (as with everything else) and have just decided to let go and move on.
However, since these were journalists involved, their colleagues in the print and television media carried the news on per-minute rotation, getting statements and comments from every person in authority, getting the tough talking police to do their work .i.e. to talk even tougher and catch no criminals, and to beam the searchlight on the poor poor poor families of the abducted journalists. Naturally, with this news waving in my face everywhere i turned, I had no choice than to secretly hope that the journalists would be freed. As with all such kidnappings, a ransome was demanded for their release but hang on, did you say 250 million naira? what are the kidnappers hoping to do with all that money, open a bank? how on earth do they expect to filter off two million naira without a trace, but well, i speak foolishly because i was alive and well when it was reported that Andy Uba was apprehended in a foreign airport with a million US dollars, so hey.
Anyways, then on the weekend, news broke that the journalists had been "abandoned". A friend of mine made the point that the emphasis was on the fact that they were not "released", or "rescued" but simply abandoned by the kidnappers. Basically, unlike in the U.S. where there would have been some action to secure the release of the journalists, in Nigeria, we just wait until kidnappers are tired of holding the victim and pray they dont kill them eventually. simple solution to simple problem.
I know you would expect that the story ends there. phew, right?...wrong! As with all things Nigerian, there had to be a twist to that story otherwise we wouldn't be the world's third largest movie producer.
As soon as the journalists were found, they seem to have appointed a spokesman in the person of one Wahab Oba, to address the press, conduct interviews, make statements and overall field all questions relating to their ordeal. In some bizarre manner, this same man was everywhere, recalling their plight in the bid to cement the existing public sympathy and maybe prolong their five minutes of fame. As always happens, the more you talk, the more likely you'll slip up and expose yourself as not being completely truthful. And so Mr. Man decides to tell the whole world that although no ransome was paid to the kidnappers, they lost all their valuables to the kidnappers...you know, random everyday stuff like watches, laptops, phones and the 3 million naira that just happened to be in their possession. yeah, you know, like its pretty standard for Nigerians to be travelling around merrily with 3 million naira just lying around in their pockets. in case you are wondering, 3 million naira is just about my annual salary. BEFORE TAX. so there.
So there i was asking everyone who cared to listen, why isn't anyone investigating exactly why they were in possession of 3 million naira cash in the first place? were they hoping to get kidnapped and maybe use it to pay their way out? was there no single bank all along the interstate roads through which they travelled? who owns that money and what is the source?
And then, in a deft move of fate that is very unusual in Nigeria, the police caught the kidnappers. i know you think "really? the Nigeria Police actually caught one criminal?"...but yes, they apparently did. and well, what do you know? kidnappers deny dispossessing them of ANY money. well, yes you may say criminals would lie anyways, but then suddenly, the spokesman for the group, the said Mr. Wahab Oba goes on record to say it wasn't actually up to 3 million that was taken from them, just about 1.6 million (like that just blows all the questions away) and that a certain governor gave them 1 million naira CASH for yet-to-be-disclosed reasons. And I always thought journalists were the conscience of the public...well, i guess we've all lost our conscience right there. Till now the said governor has not tried to clear his name or explain the purpose for which large cash sums were disbursed, and if those were his personal funds or tax-payers money.
Okay, so right now, I've just about had it with Nigeria. Since these men are journalists, this story is very likely to just die real quick before the public begins to demand answers to the many inconsistencies that are rearing their heads. So there, tell me you didn't enjoy that movie...i told you, only in Nigeria does this absurd happen.
One last thing before I go, er...Mr. Wahab, the cardinal rule to lying is, say as little as possible and then use the phrase "i can't discuss this as the matter is under investigation" a lot. Works for the police all the time.
See y'all around peeps!
Comments
they did get caught after all.
Of course nothing will come out of the new revelation of trickery. Case closed!