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of respect and the lack thereof

i just stumbled on Gist Merchants blog post today where he mentioned the many moral failings of nigerian society today. i actually didn't have any comment to make to that post because it was stating an obvious reality but then it triggered the recollection of an incident that occured a few days ago.

for context, gist merchant noted that the socially entrenched need to respect older people whether known or unknown had long since gone. some of the comments to that post noted that children now look familiar elders in the eye and walk on by like nothing happened without so much as a good morning. all i could think when i read that comment was, 'you're having it good if all these startlets do wrong is not greet you'. i wouldn't be less bothered if a fly shat on a wall. so there i was after work one day, heading home when i dropped from my car two houses away by a row of shops. i wanted to buy something or the other and hadn't quite stood there for a minute (waiting to be attended to by the store owner who was inside) when i heard someone half whisper in the most seductive voice she could clearly muster: "goodevening Sir, i LOOOVE your tie"...yes, just like that from the blues with the pulled "loooove" like we were in bed.

naturally, i thought maybe it was one of my neighbours trying to fake her voice to tease me and i turned around with a half smile, only to behold a 15 year old girl complete with barbed school-girl style hair standing within inches from my back with her head tilted to one side and smiling mischievously. i did not recognize her from a stick in the sand and in the shock of the moment found myself stepping back as a reflex action and asking her "excuse me?". i swear part of me did not want to believe it could be me she was speaking to, but she wasn't holding a phone and there was noone else within listening range.  she smiled even more seductively and said "i said i loooove your dressing". i could have sworn she was about to touch me. at this point, my face went into full war mode and i said: "is everything okay? do i know you?" (cos this is how people get filmed on candid camera or something weird)... luckily for her, the store owner came out and said "julie what is the matter? is there a problem? wey ya mama?"...at which she straightened her posture and her face, and produced a very rumpled envelope from goodness-knows-where which she stretched out to me and the said to noone in particular that she was trying to raise funds for their school's christmas party and wanted to give me the envelope. the woman saw the very confused look on my face and collected the envelope from her and asked her to go home.

i mean really. all i could think was, is this what it has come to? not only are young children ignoring their elders but they have no qualms approaching men twice their age in the most 'come hither' manner with such boldness? i swear there was a time when my sisters wouldn't even answer a strange guy saying hello as they walked along the street, much less going up to people in the dark and talking all 'invite me over to your place' type thingy. but i guess its just me getting old.

see y'all around peeps. please share your own "children of now-adays are so spoilt" stories in the comments section (and enjoy the feeling of being part of the past generation). :)

Comments

NaijaScorpio said…
LOL...unfortunately, i don't have such stories as i did not really "grow up" in Nigeria. I had to unlearn some of my "respectful" ways. Like not looking someone in the eye. Americans consider you to be dishonest and feel you have something to hide if you don't look them in the eye. Calling older people by their first names especially some professors that insist, that one is still too difficult to do even after all these years.

Greeting every older people you encounter. I learned to stop doing that. Now all you get a smile as i walk by :) But it should go without saying that if i meet an older Nigerian, i behave as i would if i were in Nigeria.
F.O. said…
Oroque, thanks for stopping by: That particular post was actually inspired by an incident which occurred to me not too long ago: there i was jejely taking my customary night walk( where i clear my head n just live in the moment) when a small girl( not up to 14yr, i swear) walked by me with an older man( definitely not her uncle, bro or any other male relative). Later on my way back, i saw same girl with a boy and they were brazenly holding hands@10pm on a school night. That made me think back to our generation and wonder if a girl back then would have the prevalent attitude of today. I mean when i was a kid, you would not dare to tell your bigger egbons in the area you wanted to join 'em in playing football, rather we were content with fetching the ball once it goes out of play: What do we have these days? Kids telling you they want to play so you should leave the field for them: More particularly, we were delighted to run errands just for the fun of it but try sending a young one of today and he or she looks at you like "whats in it for me?"
SMH.... Values don change ooooooo!
Anya Posh said…
hahaha! that is crazy, the audacity in young ones today. Personally, I think it's hilarious but on the other hand, it's unusual because I am not used to dealing with that kind of behaviour. In other words, society is in transition so at this stage we have no social script to deal with these novel scenarios. Good luck!
Anonymous said…
Bad things have been happening since Cain played baseball with Abel's head. A lot of the unfavourable comparisons between generations come because we increase in awareness as we grow older, and naturally we compare what we see in the young to what we knew of our own childhoods. But the fact that we knew no child abuse victims growing up doesnt mean that there weren't any; we were just too sheltered to know. Though i shudder to think what this generation of kids will see to complain about in the next one...
RQ said…
LOL @ MadameSting: i dare say you are not the 'past' generation...no offence. hope you're good?

@ Da Injurer: your comment nearly trumps my experience...but mine is still more scandalous :)

well, hello there Ms. Anya Posh(my most seductive voice , since thats now in vogue)...glad you could drop by the blog! i appreciate your time and comment...hope to see you around more often!

@ Anonymous: i shudder to think what the next next generation will have in terms of moral values. horrifying thought i tell you.
Toinlicious said…
*still shuddering* Kids pass by you without a word and even hit u with their shoulders. I remember if a visitor came to my house and offered me money, i'll soo disappear u'd think i was a vampire. These days, kids would ask you for money.
My mom was soo gud with wordless communication. Just a look and you got it but do dat to a kid of now and s/he'll ask wat happened to ur face.
A frnd told me how her lil niece(3/4) said "shut up, you're stupid". i was waiting for the story of how my frnd smacked her butt or @least corrected her but my frnd said she tot it was "adorable and cute" how kids are such grown-ups. *shockedface*
Crested walls said…
much as i would agree with @Da injurer, come to ghetto hoods like warri and u get to see twice that, u get to see Jss1 kids frolicking around guys their age and above, go to clubs and u see it is dominated with kids,so ill say as this generation has become so aware of all around them and themselves the older generation(parents, guardians, even some chunk of the society) have failed to adapt and be abreast with current trends and use to the advantage of all rather their focus on frivolous and things of self aggrandizement. (famous eg ur senators)
Ginger said…
Maybe your tie was really nice? you no fit take compliment again. Abeg loosen up joo (tongue very much in cheek)

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