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of giving up and conformity...

i have now come to the point where i must admit that i have totally run out of the blogging spirit. :(

i've kept up the hope that maybe it was just a dry spell, and that maybe it will soon pass but the honest truth is that i have changed. i have grown, and i have lost interest in those things that used to get me riled up enough to write the damn blog in the first place.

everything that was weird has finally become so normal in my mind that i cannot even summon the will to write about the absurdity called nigeria. the daily killings by boko haram that has become but a blip in the news, the kidnappings in the oil industry, the blatant rigging of state elections by the ruling party, the inconsistent government policies, the overbloated government official appointments...nothing moves me anymore.

and thats a dangerous place to find oneself if you ask me. i suddenly realize that no amount of screaming and blogging appears to change anything and frankly noone cares. people are so disenfranchised by this democratic dictatorship that we have become used to being helpless. it just sucks. everything is going from bad to worse all around, the unemployed are getting aggressive and crime has finally gone through the roof. we are now living in fear...hoping for the best and expecting the worst. like that is how we are made to live. we have no expectations from the government, no entitlement from our taxes, nothing. we have all adopted the 'siddon look' (sit down and watch) approach that ensures that you stay alive for a long time but live the barest minimum existence. i have nothing more to say.

it is so bad that i do not listen to the news anymore or read any papers. i follow the american presidential elections and the war in syria more than i do the goings on in my very environment...and thats because there remains a sense of right and wrong on the global stage, something grossly missing back home. i have become quite like the ostrich, sticking my neck in the sand in the presence of danger and feeling safe with the rest of my body exposed. and i have a feeling that you are doing the same thing too. you have indeed given up. you are planning your exit from your job maybe, planning your exit from this country, planning your life. cos you're done trying to save the world. and i don't blame you.

i have therefore decided to throw in the gauntlet. change my rebel ways and conform. live the blaise nigerian life of "work church marriage children pension death" in that exact order. from today, i shall love the church and say boring things that comply with the nigerian syndrome. and most of all, i shall ignore everything that doesn't 'concern me'. government actions and cultural stupidity will be tolerated henceforth. dumb myths and baseless practices will be extolled and all will be right with the world.

you have been warned peeps (don't try to talk me out of it). see y'all around.

Comments

Ginger said…
Oroque, this is heartbreaking. Is there not one little flame still smouldering in some corner of your soul? If you give up you become a shell. and that's not much to offer a woman or your children.
To live to the fullest one must have a passion.Even if its for the joke called Nigeria.
4:06 AM, March 06, 2012
Chinene said…
Flatline on the EKG....welcome to the club #letting out a exhausted sigh#
8:59 AM, March 07, 2012
Toin said…
This is a lot to swallow. Thank God you had a change of heart :-) quitting is not an option
11:48 PM, March 07, 2012
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