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and then what?

you know, i find it impossible to read the absolute rubbish that we all so treat so laissez faire. i mean seriously, i'm trying hard not to burst a nerve.

i'm usually one to give some benefit of the doubt to anyone up until they are caught with their hands in the cookie jar. i am full of respect for constituted authority and always expect the best from government even when i am proved wrong over and over again. but this has to be it.

so just last week i got a text message from my pensions administrator telling i've got some six digit sum sitting in my pension account for when i grow old and retired. as you know, since 2004 the government set up a new pension scheme where you pay 7.5% of your salary and your employer pays 7.5% every month end unfailingly. actually, its not like you have a choice as it is deducted at source. to make sure this works, or so we were told, the money is kept separate from the place where your contribution is recorded and monitored. so, we end up having pension administrators (who you deal with and keep records and tell you how much you've got as you go along) and the pension custodians (who actually keep the money). this is supposed to make sure that the same man telling you that you how much you have, isn't the same man who has access to the physical cash. this way he wont be tempted to lie about your balance while he chuffs some loose change into his back pocket. kinda like checks and balances. my black arse.

naturally, noone believes the government when they promise that our monies will actually be there when we retire at old age. for good reason too. Lord knows how many pension schemes we have had in the past and how they've all disappeared into thin air. infact, i hear that when they switched from National Social Insurance Trust Fund (NSITF) in 2004, many people who had their salary deducted all their lives under this scheme don't even know how much they have there and how to get it back. All sorts of crap really.

but i still had hope and when i close my eyes i dream that, as i suffer today with 7.5% less money than i should be blowing (on iPad10 and iPhone 4.75), i will have a blissful 65th birthday party in the bahamas surrounded by hot brazilian holidaying 21 year olds dancing samba by the...er, i digress. thats until i go online today and see:
(c) Sahara Reporters

well, now when i close my eyes all i see is me on a cassava farm at 65...in the village. i mean really? 32 Billion?! not even million? thats like a million naira in 3 thousand places. damn. the interesting thing is, this fraud was committed by no lower than a Director of the Police Pension Office (Atiku Abubakar Kigo) along with his accomplices. Infact, it is reported that the said Mr. Kigo was promoted from being the director of the Police Pension Office, to Permanent Secretary in the Ministry of Niger Delta. wow, his promotion must have been based on his funds "management" abilities. clearly, you don't get that far and consume all that without having some powerful friends. long story short, he will be released, charges will be dropped, money will never be found/returned, hapless policemen will suffer when they retire in a few years time, and their unschooled children will come to rob you.

so yeah, if you are like me waiting for the years to go by so you sit on your nest of saved pension, you better start your own private pension under your bed or build a house and rent out for future income. cos as it is right now, you just might end up in the village farm next to mine in 2035. nuff said.

see y'all around peeps.

Comments

miss.fab said…
Wow. Just... Wow. I can't even pretend that my anger over this can be adequately expressed in words.
Toinlicious said…
Oroque, you are hilarious i swear. Colleagues are asking me why i'm laughing so hard. I pictured you at 65 on a farm and i could not stop ROTFLMAO

I'm just sick and tired of NEWS. It's pathetic #sigh
Shy said…
After reading this, I felt the urge to rush to the HR department and ''instruct'' them to stop my pension contributions! If my pension funds would be sqandered, then it should very well be sqandered by me.

But then, realising what the HR guys' response would be, I decided to take a 'siddon look' approach. I would rather not complicate my life with issues that
are beyond my life. I'd rather take to Oroque's admonition - I will strive to safeguard my old age by making smart investments now, or find myself planting cassava beside his farmland.

God bless Naija!

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