Skip to main content

and then what?

you know, i find it impossible to read the absolute rubbish that we all so treat so laissez faire. i mean seriously, i'm trying hard not to burst a nerve.

i'm usually one to give some benefit of the doubt to anyone up until they are caught with their hands in the cookie jar. i am full of respect for constituted authority and always expect the best from government even when i am proved wrong over and over again. but this has to be it.

so just last week i got a text message from my pensions administrator telling i've got some six digit sum sitting in my pension account for when i grow old and retired. as you know, since 2004 the government set up a new pension scheme where you pay 7.5% of your salary and your employer pays 7.5% every month end unfailingly. actually, its not like you have a choice as it is deducted at source. to make sure this works, or so we were told, the money is kept separate from the place where your contribution is recorded and monitored. so, we end up having pension administrators (who you deal with and keep records and tell you how much you've got as you go along) and the pension custodians (who actually keep the money). this is supposed to make sure that the same man telling you that you how much you have, isn't the same man who has access to the physical cash. this way he wont be tempted to lie about your balance while he chuffs some loose change into his back pocket. kinda like checks and balances. my black arse.

naturally, noone believes the government when they promise that our monies will actually be there when we retire at old age. for good reason too. Lord knows how many pension schemes we have had in the past and how they've all disappeared into thin air. infact, i hear that when they switched from National Social Insurance Trust Fund (NSITF) in 2004, many people who had their salary deducted all their lives under this scheme don't even know how much they have there and how to get it back. All sorts of crap really.

but i still had hope and when i close my eyes i dream that, as i suffer today with 7.5% less money than i should be blowing (on iPad10 and iPhone 4.75), i will have a blissful 65th birthday party in the bahamas surrounded by hot brazilian holidaying 21 year olds dancing samba by the...er, i digress. thats until i go online today and see:
(c) Sahara Reporters

well, now when i close my eyes all i see is me on a cassava farm at 65...in the village. i mean really? 32 Billion?! not even million? thats like a million naira in 3 thousand places. damn. the interesting thing is, this fraud was committed by no lower than a Director of the Police Pension Office (Atiku Abubakar Kigo) along with his accomplices. Infact, it is reported that the said Mr. Kigo was promoted from being the director of the Police Pension Office, to Permanent Secretary in the Ministry of Niger Delta. wow, his promotion must have been based on his funds "management" abilities. clearly, you don't get that far and consume all that without having some powerful friends. long story short, he will be released, charges will be dropped, money will never be found/returned, hapless policemen will suffer when they retire in a few years time, and their unschooled children will come to rob you.

so yeah, if you are like me waiting for the years to go by so you sit on your nest of saved pension, you better start your own private pension under your bed or build a house and rent out for future income. cos as it is right now, you just might end up in the village farm next to mine in 2035. nuff said.

see y'all around peeps.

Comments

miss.fab said…
Wow. Just... Wow. I can't even pretend that my anger over this can be adequately expressed in words.
Toinlicious said…
Oroque, you are hilarious i swear. Colleagues are asking me why i'm laughing so hard. I pictured you at 65 on a farm and i could not stop ROTFLMAO

I'm just sick and tired of NEWS. It's pathetic #sigh
Shy said…
After reading this, I felt the urge to rush to the HR department and ''instruct'' them to stop my pension contributions! If my pension funds would be sqandered, then it should very well be sqandered by me.

But then, realising what the HR guys' response would be, I decided to take a 'siddon look' approach. I would rather not complicate my life with issues that
are beyond my life. I'd rather take to Oroque's admonition - I will strive to safeguard my old age by making smart investments now, or find myself planting cassava beside his farmland.

God bless Naija!

Popular posts from this blog

awards my big black...er...foot!

i'm hard pressed not to write about the nigerin blog awards but (i) it wont be fair to all my readers and people who took the time to vote for this blog (ii) i still don't understand my mental state when i decided to participate in it and (iii) i'm as bitter as a older wives meeting a new wife for the first time. to cut a morbid story short: i did not win a damn acknowledgement (much less an award). after all my toiling, having to degrade myself to the point of begging for votes from people who i really never wanted to know about my blog or read the contents thereof, after making people i hold in extreme high regard leave their daily activities and set out to vote for something so trivial, and aafter i waited ages for the darn result to be announced, i still didn't win a matchstick. i know there is something called graciously accepting the results of a competition when it doesn't go your way, but please. i'll probably never have a reason to spew out the diat...

a thousand words...

...this is Lagos Nigeria, in 2010 with the tons of LASTMA traffic officers who jump into the cars of law abiding citizens as soon as they inadvertently miss a turning. We went over the entire stretch of 3rd mainland bridge this morning driving behind this 12th wonder of the world. thank God for Blackberry, otherwise i don't know how i could have described this to y'all...or if anyone would have believed me. i guess they are right when they say that a picture does indeed say a thousand words. see y'all peeps!

of letting go and moving on

You know, i struggle with the concept of 'forgive and forget'... and yes my insomnia is in high gear as usual, so i shall blog the thoughts keeping me awake tonight. As you likely have already been told countless times from childhood when you are angry at someone, you are meant to exhibit a 'higher moral standard' than the person who has hurt you by forgiving and forgetting. The entire concept is supposedly premised on countless religions, complete with the balderdash that you are actually hurting yourself even more by not doing so. Don't get me wrong, i don't believe you need to carry mental baggage around with you for years while the person who has hurt you most likely forgot about it the moment after. The truth is that people who offend others usually either unintentionally do it and as such may not even be aware of the pain they have left behind...or they actually intended the offence and have received the satisfaction they desired the moment you got hur...