of change and one child

today i have decided to come face to face with the truth that has haunted me for a year now. and it is that i have changed. you know, overall. i don't feel the need to be brash and say things in the most uncomfortable way possible, i now very easily let go of things (and people) that add zero value and with the unwavering love of someone dear (whom you shall call "Miss.J"), i find no more need to prove a point. i guess many of my readers have seen this lately, you know, my hesitation to write about controversial topics, and my refrain from dropping my two cents into the hot topic of the day (re: pastors with jets, corruption figures during jonathan's government etc). but its not a bad thing, as they say, change - and wrinkles - is the only constant thing in life.

but i think the biggest change has to be this past weekend. as many of you already know, i have a cavalier attitude to child care. no, not that i think its unimportant but i often go in hard on women who often use child care as a basis to expect some slack in general. if you've followed my blog over the years, i have called some babies downright ugly (i got the flack for that trust me) and lately i have asked mothers to get a grip with the whole "its so tough being a mum" thing. i was wrong.

this weekend, i had the great fortune of being handed my neighbour's 4 year old son for keeps almost through saturday. you know, he always wants to come to my house to play only because i never scream at him and frankly i have nothing i wouldn't want him to climb or break or tear. and this is when i realized, that children are only adorable from the outside, already bathed and cleaned and someone else's problem. taking care of them is a different matter entirely (hence the hefty child support payments during divorce i guess). as soon as this boy came in, he ran straight for my bed in the room and started jumping up and down, screaming for no apparent reason.then he tried to climb the burglary proof on my windows, then runs to my wardrobe to count my shoes...just generally wilding out. naturally, i sat on the chair watching television and ignoring him for the most part. then he says he wants to drink water, so i get up and head for the kitchen to get a glass cup and water. i get back and he says "uncle orok, i cannot use this cup"...so i go back to the kitchen to rummage for a plastic cup (in a bachelor's house, thats the proverbial needle in a haystack). by the time i eventually find, wash and dry the only plastic cup within reach, i observe how quiet the house is. for a second i wonder if he has managed to flush himself down the toilet or something and i panic for a second before laughing at my randomness. i laughed too soon. i get into the room and find the reason for this silence, my chequebook is in shreds all over the damn floor of the room and he is still patiently tearing shreds piece by piece. luckily its only 3 leaflets left so i ignore it and ask him to clear it and put in the bin. he obliges.

and thats when i finally hand him the water. he holds it, looks in it and says "uncle orok, i dont want water again"...and as if to respond to the bewildered look on my face, completes the sentence: "i want juice" pointing to the cartons of 5-alive orange juice in the corner. i was this close to the end of my rope. but damnit, i will be the darn best uncle ever so i return to the kitchen with him in tow. in five minutes, juice and biscuits done, i was just settling down to catch up on what was left of the movie i was trying to watch (the part where some russian gangster is about to cut angelina jolie's throat etc) when dude gets up and comes to me with the cutest look ever, and goes "uncle orok, i want to weewee"...i swear i almost gave him the damn juice cup to weewee in. i mean, really? so then i take him to the gents and pull down and bring out the needful...and then waited...and waited...and blady damn waited...i'm certain at this point angelina jolie must have kicked that russian gangsters ass or something. still no pee. to compound it, after what seemed like eternity he starts laughing for no reason at all, and when i ask why he says "the weewee have gone". i swear if they don't come for him soon, i will DHL this lil boy to his parents next door via atlanta or something.

for the next five seconds or such short time, everything was as it normally is on saturdays. peace and quiet, him drawing on the floor, me watching tv and minding my business but this was very short lived. suddenly he wanted me to draw so he could copy, and then write his name so he could trace it, and then decided he wanted to watch a specific channel (in my house on my own tv with my own dstv subscription) and in the middle of all this, he got hungry, dozed off on my legs (my quietest moment but i couldn't move an inch i tell you), wanted to go home a million times and generally made my life a living hell. i swear it was more exhausting than a day at the office. you cannot imagine my absolute thrill therefore, when Miss.J walked through the door. i bet she was stunned silly by how glad i was to see her. dude proceeds to completely ignore her, refused to acknowledge her in any way manner of form despite our joint pleas, and did not speak to her throughout her visit (other than the 'thank you' after collecting fried chicken from her), she just had a way of making his drama bearable and relieving me majorly. and this is one child.

so yes, i take back every nasty thing i ever said about how easy it is to raise kids. mothers can give every excuse they want i swear...i take it all back, but then it leaves me wondering why on earth people have five children in five years because they are trying to get a certain gender. it will probably make sense when i have my own kids, yeah? i'll definitely let y'all know. see y'all around peeps.

P.S: my neighbour (the boy's mum) told me how delighted he was when he got back to their house, and how he says he will come back again next weekend. i suddenly have places to go.