okay, i'll be honest. i goofed. the end.
if i stopped this blog post right there, i would have freed my conscience of the searing guilt that has gripped me since i made a comment on my friends' facebook post about how women like to cry wolf when they put themselves in a bad position in the first place. that one comment made me realize how far down the road of angst i had gone and why its really important to put think thrice about stuff before you say them, and even then, still not to say them.
so here's an overview of yesterday. after a roughly three year break, i met up with a former colleague for a quick business lunch (and to ogle his new car) and the conversation geared towards how he has now, from experience, decided that women make much better employees, are more loyal and less financially ambitious than men. he feels that guys always want to become boss as soon after they join an organisation even without doing half the amount of work the women were doing, and that to top it all, even after obliging the men, they would move off for any slightly better financial reward at the end of the day.
naturally, i took up the opposing argument by stating that if the social role of a man permitted him to sit around being cared for hand and foot by (a) his father, when unmarried, and (b) his wife, when married, i doubt that they would be so financially ambitious. my argument was also that what many men actually move around looking for is professional respect and work independence and that almost naturally, men are not built to be subservient without cause. of course, as with two lawyers, we couldn't find a common ground in this argument and we left it at that. i told my friend squarely that his type of thinking is beginning to permeate in business circles and will soon become so wide spread that we will find ourselves as disadvantaged in the workplace as women were just a few years ago. coupled with my social caretaker theory, this will completely erode the family structure as we know it and eventually de-masculinize the male-folk.
and then, on my way home when i thought i was freed from the whole "women deserve so much better than everyone else" drama, i turned on the radio in my car just in time for the report that "female house of representative members are protesting on the floor of the house against the treatment metted out on their colleague who disrupted house proceedings last week and had to be dragged out of the chambers by security men and then suspended for two weeks". correct me if i am wrong, but the male house of reps member who joined her charade was equally (if not more forcefully) dragged out of the same chambers and given the exact treatment. so from whence comes the protest? that she should have been treated more leniently for unruly behaviour unbecoming of a respected honourable only because of her gender? that totally runs contrary to the gender equality flag raised by women year after year after darn year.
when i got home, i made dinner and settled in to eat when i got a facebook alert (yes, i'm that connected to facebook) with my friend stating as her update that some 5 women were on oprah crying about how they had all been 'deceived' by this one man who ended up infecting them all with HIV. man, by this point i had heard enough of this "life is so unfair to women" tirade and i just let loose. for the first time in my entire life, i used a rap slang in my description of women and regretted it as soon as i clicked the send button. my grouse was that women play up every single darn thing like its the end of the world and bear no responsibility for their adult actions. its always the men who are behind the source of every woman's misery. so i asked, if it was 5 guys who were infected by the same woman, would we be hearing words like "naive", "vulnerable", "innocently looking for love" etc? heck no! the comments i'd have be hearing would go like "good for those philandering nincompoops", "serves all them cheating men out there right" and the usual vituperations.
i still feel strongly that women need to stop playing the gender card when it suits them and taking undue advantage of the emotional podium upon which society has placed them. for me, except in cases of violence, women are getting a pretty good deal in life and business and should get to work and stop whining. i work 12 months a year with 3 weeks off. women can get pregnant every darn year and take 3 months off the year at full pay (although they still get two nannies and their mother to come take care of the new baby anyways, while they watch oprah). women have company policies ensuring that they are not even looked at wrongly as they sashay past a dude in the office but a guy can be slapped square in the face and just have to suck it up and "be a man". enough already.
so, although i sincerely apologize for using the word "ho" in relation to some women in my facebook comment yesterday (and trust me, i've got quite a few salty text messages already), the sentiments on this matter remain intact. you madam, have it going good...don't push it.
see y'all tomorrow peeps
if i stopped this blog post right there, i would have freed my conscience of the searing guilt that has gripped me since i made a comment on my friends' facebook post about how women like to cry wolf when they put themselves in a bad position in the first place. that one comment made me realize how far down the road of angst i had gone and why its really important to put think thrice about stuff before you say them, and even then, still not to say them.
so here's an overview of yesterday. after a roughly three year break, i met up with a former colleague for a quick business lunch (and to ogle his new car) and the conversation geared towards how he has now, from experience, decided that women make much better employees, are more loyal and less financially ambitious than men. he feels that guys always want to become boss as soon after they join an organisation even without doing half the amount of work the women were doing, and that to top it all, even after obliging the men, they would move off for any slightly better financial reward at the end of the day.
naturally, i took up the opposing argument by stating that if the social role of a man permitted him to sit around being cared for hand and foot by (a) his father, when unmarried, and (b) his wife, when married, i doubt that they would be so financially ambitious. my argument was also that what many men actually move around looking for is professional respect and work independence and that almost naturally, men are not built to be subservient without cause. of course, as with two lawyers, we couldn't find a common ground in this argument and we left it at that. i told my friend squarely that his type of thinking is beginning to permeate in business circles and will soon become so wide spread that we will find ourselves as disadvantaged in the workplace as women were just a few years ago. coupled with my social caretaker theory, this will completely erode the family structure as we know it and eventually de-masculinize the male-folk.
and then, on my way home when i thought i was freed from the whole "women deserve so much better than everyone else" drama, i turned on the radio in my car just in time for the report that "female house of representative members are protesting on the floor of the house against the treatment metted out on their colleague who disrupted house proceedings last week and had to be dragged out of the chambers by security men and then suspended for two weeks". correct me if i am wrong, but the male house of reps member who joined her charade was equally (if not more forcefully) dragged out of the same chambers and given the exact treatment. so from whence comes the protest? that she should have been treated more leniently for unruly behaviour unbecoming of a respected honourable only because of her gender? that totally runs contrary to the gender equality flag raised by women year after year after darn year.
when i got home, i made dinner and settled in to eat when i got a facebook alert (yes, i'm that connected to facebook) with my friend stating as her update that some 5 women were on oprah crying about how they had all been 'deceived' by this one man who ended up infecting them all with HIV. man, by this point i had heard enough of this "life is so unfair to women" tirade and i just let loose. for the first time in my entire life, i used a rap slang in my description of women and regretted it as soon as i clicked the send button. my grouse was that women play up every single darn thing like its the end of the world and bear no responsibility for their adult actions. its always the men who are behind the source of every woman's misery. so i asked, if it was 5 guys who were infected by the same woman, would we be hearing words like "naive", "vulnerable", "innocently looking for love" etc? heck no! the comments i'd have be hearing would go like "good for those philandering nincompoops", "serves all them cheating men out there right" and the usual vituperations.
i still feel strongly that women need to stop playing the gender card when it suits them and taking undue advantage of the emotional podium upon which society has placed them. for me, except in cases of violence, women are getting a pretty good deal in life and business and should get to work and stop whining. i work 12 months a year with 3 weeks off. women can get pregnant every darn year and take 3 months off the year at full pay (although they still get two nannies and their mother to come take care of the new baby anyways, while they watch oprah). women have company policies ensuring that they are not even looked at wrongly as they sashay past a dude in the office but a guy can be slapped square in the face and just have to suck it up and "be a man". enough already.
so, although i sincerely apologize for using the word "ho" in relation to some women in my facebook comment yesterday (and trust me, i've got quite a few salty text messages already), the sentiments on this matter remain intact. you madam, have it going good...don't push it.
see y'all tomorrow peeps
Comments
Ok I only skimmed this post, but I have a feeling we're going to disagree. I might come back and read it in a couple of hours.
As for ur annual leave .... story for another day.
1. A nine month trial of pregnancy and breast feeding or caring for another life - a very fragile one by the way will convince you and not confuse you about what Maternity leave is all about. I can't believe you said that even thought it.
2. We don't have it good NOT BY HALF I can tell you. Women are still marginalised terribly in this country. I hope its not the Ekaettes and Abike Dabiri's that are making you feel that they've been given much? I am Ibo. and if I start on the STRONG OVERARCHING patriarchy I live in, you'd not make that statement.
3. Face it. wWhat your friend said IS TRUE. A friend, an expat in a top hiring position in his conpany keeps saying it. I thought he wasnt serious. now your friend a local confirms it. what does it boil down too? Its not just ambition and power like you think. It's about Greed/Oju kokoro/Anya Ukwu(I don't know the Hausa word for it). Sprinkled with discontent, poor accountability. Simple experiment: Leave your business for 6 months with your close male friend and for 6 months with a female. The difference is like 7up.