you know, being on leave allows you reflect deeply. reflect on many different things that appear trivial, but that either form your character, or remind you of whats important in life, takes you down memory lane and sometimes puts things in perspective. and yes, i am on leave again (eat your heart out).
i woke up this morning with renewed strength, a clear mind and a full stomach and thats when my mind began to wonder. i thought through a lot of the things that have happened in the past one year, the people i have met and the the people who have moved on with their lives. the love that almost was and the embarassing end to what could have been a wonderful romance (i'm never giving details so move on quickly along) and one thing struck me. there are only two kinds of people in this world. there are those who just want to sit around in your space watching you live so they can talk about it, compare your situation with theirs all along the way, and generally feel that they are so much better than you...and then those who sit quietly in the background, gently nudging you in the right direction, dropping useful hints along the way and generally telling you how to live a good life. if it were that simple. and there's the third category, those who act like they don't give a toss if you sink or swim, but wait until you are just about to stumble (even when you don't quite realize) and then swiftly step in and take action.
case in point. i have been fat like forever. and yes, i use fat intentionally because although most women cringe at the word and would have insisted that they are just big boned/full figured/plus sized (whatever on earth that is), the reality is, fat is a word that is used to describe someone who is over the regular weight that is acceptable for that height or stature and is not a derogatory term (except you attach it to words like "nigger", then you get the beating you deserve). so yes, at every stage of my development, i could easily be classified as fat. my stomach protruded and my head was bigger than average. all of which i was perfectly fine with but seemed to rub everyone else the wrong way. everyone i knew became a weight expert, diagnosing me without solicitation. telling me what they were sure i was doing wrong and what i should avoid. others who were less kind, just made fun of me and called me everything from alhaji, to orobo to shrek. yes, i have come a long way. truth is, it never got to me. when i hear stories of kids who would go home and cry cos they felt the world hated them because they were fat, i never understood it. i guess i had more drama to face at home growing up with a step dad than any kid out there could give me, so hey.
only a handful of people never saw anything wrong with the way i looked and carried on like they didn't see any difference. even fewer would chastize me when i labelled myself as fat or ugly and it tickled me silly to see them so sensitive to something i really didnt give that much of a hoot about. but it took 31 years and countless friends to meet one person who said, "why don't you equip yourself with some home exercise equipments, to get you into the habit of exercising as a routine so that you can be fit. not slim...but fit and healthy". these words, said casually without recourse to lengthy prologue and analysis, instantly gave me new perspective. it made me realize that i've been pursuing the wrong objective altogether. that my goal should be healthy living, not a race to become tyson beckford...and for the first time ever in relation to my weight, one person brought a solution and not commentary. brought a way out of the obvious issue, and didn't prescribe needless do's and dont's that only served to make me feel that something was indeed wrong with me. a simple solution that changed a life.
and so today, as i have done for over two weeks, i climbed my elliptical machine and put the music on loud and moved...moved my arms, legs, moved my heart and moved my mind. and in doing so, decided that like Mr. Bode Ejiwunmi (who by the way eventually did all the logistics to getting me the equipment at no cost) i will be the person with the solution, not the wanton critic that adds no value.
see y'all around peeps...
P.S: i know you'd rather i didn't mention your name, Mr. Ejiwunmi. please oblige.
i woke up this morning with renewed strength, a clear mind and a full stomach and thats when my mind began to wonder. i thought through a lot of the things that have happened in the past one year, the people i have met and the the people who have moved on with their lives. the love that almost was and the embarassing end to what could have been a wonderful romance (i'm never giving details so move on quickly along) and one thing struck me. there are only two kinds of people in this world. there are those who just want to sit around in your space watching you live so they can talk about it, compare your situation with theirs all along the way, and generally feel that they are so much better than you...and then those who sit quietly in the background, gently nudging you in the right direction, dropping useful hints along the way and generally telling you how to live a good life. if it were that simple. and there's the third category, those who act like they don't give a toss if you sink or swim, but wait until you are just about to stumble (even when you don't quite realize) and then swiftly step in and take action.
case in point. i have been fat like forever. and yes, i use fat intentionally because although most women cringe at the word and would have insisted that they are just big boned/full figured/plus sized (whatever on earth that is), the reality is, fat is a word that is used to describe someone who is over the regular weight that is acceptable for that height or stature and is not a derogatory term (except you attach it to words like "nigger", then you get the beating you deserve). so yes, at every stage of my development, i could easily be classified as fat. my stomach protruded and my head was bigger than average. all of which i was perfectly fine with but seemed to rub everyone else the wrong way. everyone i knew became a weight expert, diagnosing me without solicitation. telling me what they were sure i was doing wrong and what i should avoid. others who were less kind, just made fun of me and called me everything from alhaji, to orobo to shrek. yes, i have come a long way. truth is, it never got to me. when i hear stories of kids who would go home and cry cos they felt the world hated them because they were fat, i never understood it. i guess i had more drama to face at home growing up with a step dad than any kid out there could give me, so hey.
only a handful of people never saw anything wrong with the way i looked and carried on like they didn't see any difference. even fewer would chastize me when i labelled myself as fat or ugly and it tickled me silly to see them so sensitive to something i really didnt give that much of a hoot about. but it took 31 years and countless friends to meet one person who said, "why don't you equip yourself with some home exercise equipments, to get you into the habit of exercising as a routine so that you can be fit. not slim...but fit and healthy". these words, said casually without recourse to lengthy prologue and analysis, instantly gave me new perspective. it made me realize that i've been pursuing the wrong objective altogether. that my goal should be healthy living, not a race to become tyson beckford...and for the first time ever in relation to my weight, one person brought a solution and not commentary. brought a way out of the obvious issue, and didn't prescribe needless do's and dont's that only served to make me feel that something was indeed wrong with me. a simple solution that changed a life.
and so today, as i have done for over two weeks, i climbed my elliptical machine and put the music on loud and moved...moved my arms, legs, moved my heart and moved my mind. and in doing so, decided that like Mr. Bode Ejiwunmi (who by the way eventually did all the logistics to getting me the equipment at no cost) i will be the person with the solution, not the wanton critic that adds no value.
see y'all around peeps...
P.S: i know you'd rather i didn't mention your name, Mr. Ejiwunmi. please oblige.
Comments
Anyway, the joke's on them! I am living a more healthy life now and have found my 'solution' in walking - with my trusty head-phones in my ears, the calls of 'orobo' are slowly but surely fading into the background!