you know, sometimes i wonder why i do what i do? you know, even the most mundane things deserve some "why" thoughts once every so often. why do i avoid people? why am i so selective of friends and acquaintances? why do i write this blog?
as a lot of my really good friends know, i'm very forthright about my motives and feelings. i'm the last person to give a noble reason for any mundane endeavour. and so, yes, i thought long and hard about the last question for a few weeks and it occured to me that i was writing the blog for one reason: to share my thoughts with everyone and try to use my little logic to effect some change in my own little way. you can give me a cookie now.
lets face it. somewhere inside each of us lies a narcissist. to varying degrees of course, and sometimes shielded by layers and layers of good results and noble intentions but a narcissist all the same. by nature, humans rarely do anything without being certain that they will get some form of reward for it. maybe reward is not the right word, but some selfish satisfaction. so let me break it down. think about any single act you undertake...any one at all. if you force yourself to answer the question: "whats in it for me?", you'd be shocked by the realization that no matter how noble, if you truly stood to gain absolutely nothing, you simply wouldnt do it. you work so you can earn a salary (please save that job fulfillment story for your next job interview), you go to church so you can go to heaven, you give to others so they may one day give back to you in future, you help the needy so they would speak well about you to others (its inevitable and you know it), you attend plays and debates so you appear to be among the intellectual elite, you buy that particular expensive watch so you appear to have taste. truth be told, its always about you eventually, lie as you want.
and thats not such a bad thing for motivation. if the end result is that you edify someone else, send a poor child to school, provide for your community, speak up for the oppressed and recognize the Almighty then frankly your motive, to my mind, is useless. but admit to yourself if to noone else why you are doing something, so that when you do not see the results you expected and you are forced to stop, at least you'll be clear why. and so, although many of you didn't know, i almost stopped writing this blog. i mean, i read some of the more popular blogs and all they talk about is religious controversy, celebrity sightings and music videos. thats what everyone is interested in reading...about other people's lives. noone is interested in lengthy opinion and clearly noone gives a toss about endless whinings about the national shortcomings...both of which i actually set out to do with this blog.
but you know, thinking about my motive for writing this blog has made me realize that it actually wasn't to have a million readers (don't get me wrong, i value every person that takes time from his/her busy day to read my musings) and to be famous...yeah right...it was to speak my mind. to have my thoughts out there whether or not anyone was willing to hear them. and so my motivation has returned, and i will write a blog post a day for the next week come what may...because like my friends would say, "stay true to yourself and everything else will fall into place with time". actually i just made that up, my friends are way too busy to give me words of wisdom.
so see y'all around folks...and admit it, whatever you're doing right now, is all about you.
as a lot of my really good friends know, i'm very forthright about my motives and feelings. i'm the last person to give a noble reason for any mundane endeavour. and so, yes, i thought long and hard about the last question for a few weeks and it occured to me that i was writing the blog for one reason: to share my thoughts with everyone and try to use my little logic to effect some change in my own little way. you can give me a cookie now.
lets face it. somewhere inside each of us lies a narcissist. to varying degrees of course, and sometimes shielded by layers and layers of good results and noble intentions but a narcissist all the same. by nature, humans rarely do anything without being certain that they will get some form of reward for it. maybe reward is not the right word, but some selfish satisfaction. so let me break it down. think about any single act you undertake...any one at all. if you force yourself to answer the question: "whats in it for me?", you'd be shocked by the realization that no matter how noble, if you truly stood to gain absolutely nothing, you simply wouldnt do it. you work so you can earn a salary (please save that job fulfillment story for your next job interview), you go to church so you can go to heaven, you give to others so they may one day give back to you in future, you help the needy so they would speak well about you to others (its inevitable and you know it), you attend plays and debates so you appear to be among the intellectual elite, you buy that particular expensive watch so you appear to have taste. truth be told, its always about you eventually, lie as you want.
and thats not such a bad thing for motivation. if the end result is that you edify someone else, send a poor child to school, provide for your community, speak up for the oppressed and recognize the Almighty then frankly your motive, to my mind, is useless. but admit to yourself if to noone else why you are doing something, so that when you do not see the results you expected and you are forced to stop, at least you'll be clear why. and so, although many of you didn't know, i almost stopped writing this blog. i mean, i read some of the more popular blogs and all they talk about is religious controversy, celebrity sightings and music videos. thats what everyone is interested in reading...about other people's lives. noone is interested in lengthy opinion and clearly noone gives a toss about endless whinings about the national shortcomings...both of which i actually set out to do with this blog.
but you know, thinking about my motive for writing this blog has made me realize that it actually wasn't to have a million readers (don't get me wrong, i value every person that takes time from his/her busy day to read my musings) and to be famous...yeah right...it was to speak my mind. to have my thoughts out there whether or not anyone was willing to hear them. and so my motivation has returned, and i will write a blog post a day for the next week come what may...because like my friends would say, "stay true to yourself and everything else will fall into place with time". actually i just made that up, my friends are way too busy to give me words of wisdom.
so see y'all around folks...and admit it, whatever you're doing right now, is all about you.
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