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of suicide, depression and the craze to trend

I won't even bother with correctness today. Christmas is over and Jesus has been born so yeah... back to reality.

So today twitter was awash with the renewed conversation on suicides and depression. Apparently a student of Ahmadu Bello University in Nigeria killed herself by drinking rat poison and left a suicide note. The announcement was apparently made on the school's twitter handle (investigative protocol be damned) but lets focus on the core issues.

Someone asked why it appears that depression and suicide is on the increase among Nigerian youth now in relation to the past. Simply Oroque's View:

1. first of all, I don't know the basis for concluding that it is on the increase but I give him the pass because he used the word "appears". Social media has brought everything upward and outward in real time. In times past, it would take weeks for people outside of the deceased's nuclear family to even learn of her death. Now, it is within seconds.

2. we are all agreed that our record keeping in Nigeria is abysmal to say the least. Abortions, HIV, Suicide, you name it. If it is considered a vice then forget about keeping adequate records. Families that will not even allow you go and report your sibling to the police for a criminal act will definitely not let anybody admit to suicide in the family. I mean, "how will future in-laws perceive us if they think that we have the propensity to self harm"..."will they not term us mad and refuse to let their sons marry our daughters?" So yes, all the family elders will discuss the actual situation in hush tones in the middle of the night and agree the official version to tell the neighbours and public. This is also why till today we do not know of any single person that died due to complications arising from AIDS. No single Nigerian.

3. as to the current trend of suicide among millennials? the human mind cannot accept vacuum. that's the scientific way of saying 'the idle mind is the devils workshop'. In the past where the source of information for the masses was television, you could guide the world to a specific issue to worry about. You could exaggerate the danger of Sadam Hussein and have people frothing at the mouth. You could make the fight against polio the "it problem" that everyone will be racing to solve.

But now? With the proliferation of media sources, young people are now inundated with irrelevant and largely inaccurate information. Unlike back in the days when you had to listen to BBC on the Radio or NTA on television as the only source of information, this generation has mental freedom to follow any story or trend or topic of interest. It has Pros and Cons. That mental freedom means that there is no guidance or restrictions as to what to think of or worry about. Millennial minds have thus gravitated to the mundane (path of least resistance) as evidenced in the rise of Twitter and Instagram. People now look outward for validation from a world of strangers that feel like friends and seek attention in previously unimaginable ways. As such, self harm being as the most guaranteed way to get attention, is so badly craved regardless of the fact they will not be hear to revel in it.

4. this generation has been so externally focused on social media that they do not know how to handle internal struggles. Everyone is vapid and everything is superficial. No one talks about their feelings anymore. Its all pictures and looks and perfection. The hows and the whys no longer matter. "If they are rich and look great", they are our new role model now, pure and simple. It is now the era of getting attention by any means necessary and trending on twitter, even it means almost killing yourself in public because Wizkid left his concert before you got a chance to see him backstage. 😅 i swear the shameless shenanigans. Oh and before you laugh too hard it worked because Wizkid has now asked his fans to locate the young lady and bring her to him. Thus validating the mindset of 20 million Nigerian twitter users that any attention is good attention. Nobody is aspiring to be Soyinka anymore.

The good thing about the entire awareness and conversation is that in the bid to sound intelligent and well read people are all over google trying to be the first to throw around words like "functionally depressed" etc. to me, all knowledge is good regardless of the motive. However the part of it all that irks me is that year after year there is that one person who thinks that every misfortune is an opportunity to score a cheap point towards his selfish heavenly race. Exhibit A:



Directly under the official announcement.

I hate to say it but Christians can be insensitive douche-bags under the guise of spreading the gospel and winning souls. How is this the "only solution" to a scientifically adjudged ailment? How is this appropriate to a Muslim family learning about the death of their beloved? Will anybody reading that comment in this context legitimately consider becoming a Christian based off it? Some days I just can't deal with the religious arrogance and superiority. On both sides.

The truth however is that there is nothing one can say to depressed people having suicidal thoughts. They are alive and see the same things you see so you cannot draw on the physical analogies to help. It is a mental ailment because the mind has positioned every experience through coloured lens, the coloured lens of helplessness and despair. The 'half empty perspective' on steroids. I mean how do i make you see the glass as half full even though we are look at the same glass of water. 😥

By all means pray if you are a religious person, but encourage people to seek medical attention if you truly love them. Jesus is indeed the way, the truth and the life but you need antibiotics for that STD dear brother in the Lord. Apply common sense to your heavenly journey and let empathy be your watchword (for how to apply the antibiotic see a doctor). You are likely to win more souls by your actions and expressions of love than you can ever win with aggressive hurtful and misplaced words in the wrong context.

And if you are reading this and it seems all locked in...it feels like nobody is seeing what you are going through or it feels like you are not allowed to say exactly how you feel if you feel oppressed by a situation or the actions of others but can't fight back even though you hear that scream in your head that sometimes makes you hold both sides of your head and close your eyes? You are not alone, it will pass if you just hold on and reach out to @mentalhealthng on twitter. I promise there's someone out there who totally gets it and they will find you. Don't leave us, we cannot go on without you. 😘


Comments

Unknown said…
Forgiving heals the mind and soul and help you move on quickly
But not forgetting is almost natural... As it helps you learn some basic truth about certain people in life
Forgiveness is 99% possible
But forgetting seem almost impossible

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