So today I am very busy but I'm in such a good mood and decided to branch here before my work really starts. Why am i in such a good mood, you might ask? I'd rather not tell you but since you insist...I had sex last night. 😳 oh no no, contrary to your stereotypical thinking, I am single and not in a relationship. And yes, I had unbridled coitus (as Sheldon on Big Bang Theory likes to call it). And wow, it shook everything loose and cleared cobwebs. I have been laughing at everything and discovering new music that has always been on my playlist. 😂😂 too much information? 😋 well, yes that's the entire intention.
I find the African attitude to sex to be extremely hypocritical and detrimental to social advancement as a whole. As someone once joked, African parents spend your entire growing up telling you to avoid the opposite gender and how sex will kill you and how you will burn in hell and have your destiny stolen by being unequally yoked etc etc and then you turn 23 and they suddenly ask where your spouse is? 😲 like really mum, really?
Don't get me wrong, it is a parental responsibility to ensure that the right behavior and habits are formed by their kids. It is also the parents burden when unwanted pregnancies occur before the kids are fully able to support themselves, so yes the African approach to "abstinence till they permit you to have sex" has largely worked. or has it?
Take a look at the Global HIV ranking.
Nigeria is 2nd, after South Africa. South Africa has a rape problem, we do not. Nigeria was also 2nd placed by pornhub in the ranking of countries that watch the most pornography. It's very interesting considering we have half the country in the North all covered up in hijabs and the South all in church every single Sunday, professing the highest levels of spirituality. so who exactly is having all this unsafe sex and watching porn? You are. Yes, you reading this. You are having a lot of sex. All of the sex you swear you know nothing about, and with all the girls and boys your mother warned you against.
Look, we can all deny it all we want. We can put on our suits and climb all the pulpits in the world, but when nobody is looking and you go to the office, your house-girl and your daughter will go next door and have lots of unprotected sex with the boy next door waiting for Jamb result. And that's if you are lucky. if you are not lucky and he is a jobless 32 year old waiting for American visa lottery while living with his old grandmother down the street...e don be be that.
but who is responsible for this unhealthy and unsustainable black African attitude to sex. Religion? Parents? Colonialism? We can point our fingers everywhere, but the truth is that we all have participated in propagating the ruse that sex is a bad thing. We have spent generations castigating out-of-wedlock children and single mothers as bad examples to our kids.
Like everything that is banned in Nigeria without an alternative, they have simply created a black market for it. Nigeria is the second highest consumer of rice imports and all the banning in the world has only made smuggling more attractive and thriving. Same with alcohol and codeine bans in parts of Nigeria. A market demand will create a supply chain one way or the other. We probably have un-diagnosed cases of body dysmorphic disorder, loss of libido and frigidity carried into marriages across the country and being treated through copious amounts of prayer and religious counselling. These are sometimes attributable to a very unhealthy sexual culture of hypocrisy.
The summary of it is that every single person has sex. It is a biological need. They are having sex or thinking about sex. Yes, even your religious leader. A BBC Article actually quotes a study that found that the average man had 19 thoughts about sex a day while women had 10. You don't even pray that many times in a day.
http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20140617-how-often-do-men-think-about-sex
so if you are really not having sex then you have low libido, have not found someone to have it with or the environment you consider safe to do it. It is not because you are spiritual or super human and we need to stop the faux public show of piousness. Sex is okay, it is healthy, everyone above a certain age has it and the earlier we de-stigmatize it, the better for all of us. Open conversations lead to better public health solutions.
I find the African attitude to sex to be extremely hypocritical and detrimental to social advancement as a whole. As someone once joked, African parents spend your entire growing up telling you to avoid the opposite gender and how sex will kill you and how you will burn in hell and have your destiny stolen by being unequally yoked etc etc and then you turn 23 and they suddenly ask where your spouse is? 😲 like really mum, really?
Don't get me wrong, it is a parental responsibility to ensure that the right behavior and habits are formed by their kids. It is also the parents burden when unwanted pregnancies occur before the kids are fully able to support themselves, so yes the African approach to "abstinence till they permit you to have sex" has largely worked. or has it?
Take a look at the Global HIV ranking.
Nigeria is 2nd, after South Africa. South Africa has a rape problem, we do not. Nigeria was also 2nd placed by pornhub in the ranking of countries that watch the most pornography. It's very interesting considering we have half the country in the North all covered up in hijabs and the South all in church every single Sunday, professing the highest levels of spirituality. so who exactly is having all this unsafe sex and watching porn? You are. Yes, you reading this. You are having a lot of sex. All of the sex you swear you know nothing about, and with all the girls and boys your mother warned you against.
Look, we can all deny it all we want. We can put on our suits and climb all the pulpits in the world, but when nobody is looking and you go to the office, your house-girl and your daughter will go next door and have lots of unprotected sex with the boy next door waiting for Jamb result. And that's if you are lucky. if you are not lucky and he is a jobless 32 year old waiting for American visa lottery while living with his old grandmother down the street...e don be be that.
but who is responsible for this unhealthy and unsustainable black African attitude to sex. Religion? Parents? Colonialism? We can point our fingers everywhere, but the truth is that we all have participated in propagating the ruse that sex is a bad thing. We have spent generations castigating out-of-wedlock children and single mothers as bad examples to our kids.
Like everything that is banned in Nigeria without an alternative, they have simply created a black market for it. Nigeria is the second highest consumer of rice imports and all the banning in the world has only made smuggling more attractive and thriving. Same with alcohol and codeine bans in parts of Nigeria. A market demand will create a supply chain one way or the other. We probably have un-diagnosed cases of body dysmorphic disorder, loss of libido and frigidity carried into marriages across the country and being treated through copious amounts of prayer and religious counselling. These are sometimes attributable to a very unhealthy sexual culture of hypocrisy.
The summary of it is that every single person has sex. It is a biological need. They are having sex or thinking about sex. Yes, even your religious leader. A BBC Article actually quotes a study that found that the average man had 19 thoughts about sex a day while women had 10. You don't even pray that many times in a day.
http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20140617-how-often-do-men-think-about-sex
so if you are really not having sex then you have low libido, have not found someone to have it with or the environment you consider safe to do it. It is not because you are spiritual or super human and we need to stop the faux public show of piousness. Sex is okay, it is healthy, everyone above a certain age has it and the earlier we de-stigmatize it, the better for all of us. Open conversations lead to better public health solutions.
Comments