i used to be ordinary...

i used to be ordinary. i used to be just another fellow down the road, weird but nothing out of the ordinary. i used to be the guy who wanted to live an ideal world where everyone respected the other. a world where one could lead the life that he alone chose and where everyone respected the personal space of the other person. i used to want to live in heaven.

i used to be ordinary. i trusted people and always thought that human actions were noble and in the common interest of the greater. i used to tell the world exactly what i thought and demand to be heard. i was taught to believe that small people could do great things if they only believed firmly in their dreams and didn't care what anyone thought about it. i felt that every twist of paper i made was ingenious artwork and that my creativity was boundless. i thought that friends were people who actually liked you just because, and that you could literally expect them to accept everything about you. i used to be young.

i used to be ordinary. i hated crowds and the cacophony of meaningless parties. i thought that the universe created in my mind through countless atlases and encyclopediae was what the world outside my window was. i read that machines moved when they are supplied with electrical power and wondered how our cars moved when there no wires from the overhead electricity poles to the bonnet. i learned that words were never to be used except when they were meant and never to call anyone 'mad' when i was angry. i used to be pure.

i used to be ordinary. until i left my perfect private primary school that was a scenic walk from my home. i used to be shocked at the crudeness of the boy my age hanging on the door haggling people for money in the buses. i used to wonder if he had parents, and why he never said 'please' or 'thank you' or 'sorry' after shoving you further into the seat with his bony arse. i used to frown to stop the smelly unkempt children from trying to talk to me, but they seemed to be everywhere in this public secondary school. i used to cringe at the expletives that came out casually from their mouths, and my heart would bleed when they called my mother a harlot just because. i found that every conversation was a screaming match and i couldn't concentrate on my reading in class before the teacher came in. i used to think that God must hate me so much to have plunked me smack in the middle of this monkey cage where there were no laws, and people were constantly swinging from every where. i would stop intermittently under shades on the way back from school and wonder why people had to push and shove to get into a bus that they would eventually pay for. i used to be proper.

i used to be ordinary. until i ran out of tears. until i had my lunch taken from me the millionth time. until i learnt to hide my food near the toilet and walk into class emptyhanded. i used to be innocent until someone walked over and asked me to hand over my uniform and beat me really hard cos i refused to. for no damn reason. i used to queue until i trekked home a few times cos i couldn't catch a bus for hours on end after school. i used to enjoy every ride and admire nature until my pockets were picked over and over. i used to speak proper grammar until i was smacked consistently for 'showing off' to the teacher during class. i used to be ordinary until osama decided to blow up the world on my birthday. i swear i used to be ordinary, oh, so ordinary i would have been a great inventor or scientist or writer and won prizes at international events...

i used to be ordinary...until life became my teacher.