okay so i'm sitting here minding my own business when my colleague walks into my office (yes, i do have an office...haterz :))) and very animatedly tells me she needs some minutes of my time. i usually have two faces on generally in my life, the work face and the home face. interprete that how you like. well, the reason why its easier to keep the office face at work is that people behave within the confines of professionalism...and don't just jump into other people's space without invitation etc and carry on like they've got fire ants up their pants. so anyways, the way she came in took me by surprise as i raced through my mind trying to determine what face to put on considering this visit was clearly not an official looking one.
so anyways, she plops herself into my chair and starts seemingly without breathing: "you want to make money right? i mean who doesn't. you probably want to buy a car, a house, pay for mortgage, travel for free on an all expense paid trip, go shopping...you want to live a good life generally. and thats why i am here...i have just signed up for the most amazing solution to all these issues. and its the simplest thing ever. all you will do is, tell someone about this, and you sit down and make money while doing absolutely nothing. in this economic times, additional income is welcome, you know"
and then she pauses...while by this time i had decided that my work face was appropriate to end this tirade of seeming madness and had placed my hand on the phone in case i needed to dial security at short notice. seeing that i wasn't going to help her along, and in the absence of a welcoming smile, i just knew she would say something along the lines of 'don't worry, i'll come back when you're less busy (or interested)' and then leave my office with her back. if only...she goes right on like my expression was invisible to the naked eye:
"so here's what i have to tell you. its a program that you pay one hundred and forty seven thousand and then...", O Lawd...i almost passed out. i swear that as soon as she mentioned that amount of money, all i heard was bla bla bla. so i stared at her blankly for the remaining twenty minutes until we got to the part where she said "so let me know when you're ready to order". as if. to cut the long story short, its all these "network marketing" thingy of the 90's where you buy some funny herbal products, then spread it out and get others to buy and then as they get other people to buy/sign up under them, you start getting paid as their 'manager'. yeah, riiiight! usually, the claims of success are glossy and they show smiling people collecting large sums of money. thats usually where i get off any train (show me people holding money in order to attract me and it just appears you're trying too hard and there's a nasty catch). i told her i would research and think about it. damn me for not just saying 'no thanks', right?
of course i went online and checked it out and realized that like every other business that is driven by marketing hype, the reality is never as glorious as the pitch. countless people had bought the products but couldn't convince anyone else to buy and be their 'downliners' so they didn't get any money, others suddenly realized that in order to be making constant money, they had to continue buying a certain amount of the products, whether or not they needed it, every single month...forever. sooner than later, they become a junk yard of these products and noone else wants them. wow. God bless Google.
needless to say, i never got back to her. and so, just when i thought i had passed that storm, she appears again today with the same "taarraaaa!" approach and comes to introduce a different scheme where you make 'instant payments every week without fail'. "in this scheme, yeah, you just pay fifty five thousand and bla bla bla!" (sorry folks, once someone asks me to pay money, i generally switch off). she's suddenly like a roadside drug dealer who promises you a better high which each new drug that she is yet to try herself. so i ask her whatever happened to the other old get rich quick scheme,... like shouldn't she be a millionaire now? to which she quickly says deflatedly "its a great scheme, but you need to sign on XYZ number of people in order to participate in their profit sharing and you can't get the bonus until youve been in it for 2 years"...i almost went, 'really? thats not what you said to me a few weeks ago?!' its good to have "been there, done that, seen it all before" sometimes...
but really, what is it with people and making money without sweat? when will people realize that something has to give, for you to make money...there is no such thing as 'do nothing and get paid'...even armed robbery and prostitution need you to "do something". and so, once again i told her i would research it and get back to her. i'm guessing that someday soon, it will click in her mind that either i'm not interested, or she herself needs to stop being interested...
see y'all around peeps. and if you let sweet mouth make you invest in "get rich quick schemes", brace yourself for the agbo jedi jedi (horridly bitter native concoction for sugar related ailments) later on! nuff said.
so anyways, she plops herself into my chair and starts seemingly without breathing: "you want to make money right? i mean who doesn't. you probably want to buy a car, a house, pay for mortgage, travel for free on an all expense paid trip, go shopping...you want to live a good life generally. and thats why i am here...i have just signed up for the most amazing solution to all these issues. and its the simplest thing ever. all you will do is, tell someone about this, and you sit down and make money while doing absolutely nothing. in this economic times, additional income is welcome, you know"
and then she pauses...while by this time i had decided that my work face was appropriate to end this tirade of seeming madness and had placed my hand on the phone in case i needed to dial security at short notice. seeing that i wasn't going to help her along, and in the absence of a welcoming smile, i just knew she would say something along the lines of 'don't worry, i'll come back when you're less busy (or interested)' and then leave my office with her back. if only...she goes right on like my expression was invisible to the naked eye:
"so here's what i have to tell you. its a program that you pay one hundred and forty seven thousand and then...", O Lawd...i almost passed out. i swear that as soon as she mentioned that amount of money, all i heard was bla bla bla. so i stared at her blankly for the remaining twenty minutes until we got to the part where she said "so let me know when you're ready to order". as if. to cut the long story short, its all these "network marketing" thingy of the 90's where you buy some funny herbal products, then spread it out and get others to buy and then as they get other people to buy/sign up under them, you start getting paid as their 'manager'. yeah, riiiight! usually, the claims of success are glossy and they show smiling people collecting large sums of money. thats usually where i get off any train (show me people holding money in order to attract me and it just appears you're trying too hard and there's a nasty catch). i told her i would research and think about it. damn me for not just saying 'no thanks', right?
of course i went online and checked it out and realized that like every other business that is driven by marketing hype, the reality is never as glorious as the pitch. countless people had bought the products but couldn't convince anyone else to buy and be their 'downliners' so they didn't get any money, others suddenly realized that in order to be making constant money, they had to continue buying a certain amount of the products, whether or not they needed it, every single month...forever. sooner than later, they become a junk yard of these products and noone else wants them. wow. God bless Google.
needless to say, i never got back to her. and so, just when i thought i had passed that storm, she appears again today with the same "taarraaaa!" approach and comes to introduce a different scheme where you make 'instant payments every week without fail'. "in this scheme, yeah, you just pay fifty five thousand and bla bla bla!" (sorry folks, once someone asks me to pay money, i generally switch off). she's suddenly like a roadside drug dealer who promises you a better high which each new drug that she is yet to try herself. so i ask her whatever happened to the other old get rich quick scheme,... like shouldn't she be a millionaire now? to which she quickly says deflatedly "its a great scheme, but you need to sign on XYZ number of people in order to participate in their profit sharing and you can't get the bonus until youve been in it for 2 years"...i almost went, 'really? thats not what you said to me a few weeks ago?!' its good to have "been there, done that, seen it all before" sometimes...
but really, what is it with people and making money without sweat? when will people realize that something has to give, for you to make money...there is no such thing as 'do nothing and get paid'...even armed robbery and prostitution need you to "do something". and so, once again i told her i would research it and get back to her. i'm guessing that someday soon, it will click in her mind that either i'm not interested, or she herself needs to stop being interested...
see y'all around peeps. and if you let sweet mouth make you invest in "get rich quick schemes", brace yourself for the agbo jedi jedi (horridly bitter native concoction for sugar related ailments) later on! nuff said.
Comments
Thank God you where wise enough to avoid this pitfall. The Long and Short is that there is no short cut to wealth, so go sweat it out!
My friend has been choking me with that ish too, but pyramid schemes are not for me.wise choice you made there
Ponzi/pyramid schemes have been here for a while. I blogged about it a while back. nothing good ever comes out of it cos the market gets saturated at the bottom!
Glad you didnt get sucked in!