i read yesterday, somewhere, that every blogger has areas of human life that they completely avoid. areas that either hold some emotional meaning for the blogger, or areas that he would rather not point his reader's attention to either in order not to offend them, or just to be on the politically correct side of social culture. at first i thought it was baldderdash and considered myself to be above and beyond this type of behaviour since i feel that my blog is very "no-holds barred" and i virtually say anything i think...but then upon reflection overnight i realized that yes indeed there are some issues i completely avoid.
if you're an avid reader of my blog, you will notice that i have never disclosed where i work. i have also never used anyone's real name while relating a true story. i also do not talk about extremely controversial issues like gay people and the church, religious interference in the educational system, downlow men and marital deception, the genetic male need for spousal infidelity and a whole gamut of other issues that would not only make for interesting read but will generate riotuous sentiments. and the reason is simple, i am a private person. i do not have the thick skin required to open up a can of worms and ride the wave of stinging public condemnation for stating my views on the many issues...but that has to change.
at my age, it suddenly becomes clear to me, that a time comes in your life when you live above the need for peer group affirmation. when you let go of the need to be constantly right or be on the right side of things...and where you will express your opinion not because it is right, but because you have an opinion.
so right after my birthday post, i received the most important question from a long time blog reader. a question that seemed innocuous in itself but that i realized had never been quite answered. and the email read: hi oroque, love your blog. but after following it for a very long time, i am left confused entirely. who are you? what do you stand for? are you a christian (cos you bash the church a lot), are you anti-marriage (cos you seem to see nothing good with it)? and can you let us all know when you're being sarcastic by maybe adding a LOL at the end of sentences we shouldn't take seriously? signed "R".
i wish i could give a complex, psychologically correct answer to that "who am i" question but really, i don't think anyone is really any one thing. i think we all strive to do good and to live right but being the thinking reasoning beings that we are, must be allowed to question the basis of our beliefs. i do not try to convince anyone to agree with me, but i think everyone would be interested in knowing how i feel about certain issues. so here goes:
1. Am i a Christian?: Depends who you ask. if you ask my dad and mum (both pastors) then i'm probably at best a 'struggling christian' (as i've been since i knew left from right). but seriously, IF christianity is the cult where i am supposed to mindlessly do what a certain pastor says without question, and insist that nobody except myself and church members will be going to heaven, and to regard other faiths as somehow beneath mine and to give - usually money - "sacrificially" to a particular church as a way to obtain redemption from the Almighty...then i am not a Christian. and happily so.
2. Am i Anti-Marriage?: I think marriage is a beautiful thing. My parents have the most amazing marriage, my dad never raised his voice at my mum, and they always stand together in any decision even against the kids. they played the 'good cop, bad cop' thingy for a long time until we sorta figured it out and they will be the first to make fun of their inadequacies or shortcomings. my dad insists he was always top of his class when he was growing up (i often wonder who's dad then carried second if every dad i know was first in their class). So no, i am not anti-marriage but i am anti-weddings. You see, i do not understand how and why on earth i should spend 30 minutes in the church asking God to bless a couple on their life-long journey and give them kids and peace and happiness (which is vital) but spend 5 hours at a needless party acknowledging chairman of the day, father of the day, royal father of the day, chief patron of the day, host of the occassion, parents of the bride and groom, goat of the grooms brother etc. i feel the priorities are all mixed up and its just not my thing.
3. What do i stand for?: Do right by your conscience. Karma is a bitch. Do your thing and stay out of my way. THE END. Quite simply put. when i read that Sharon Tendler married a dolphin, i simply read it and moved on. no shock, no concern, no emotions. its her damn life...and if it makes her happy, then bravo.
and this is partly why i have no comments on issues of morality, as long as it does not get in my way and i am not involved or interested, then i have no comments because anything i say will be borne out of ignorance.
and yes, i don't know (or care) who will eventually go to heaven between christians, muslims, hindus, bhuddists, orthodox jews...since we are all told by different books (each allegedly inspired by the Almighty) that each group is headed to paradise. to be honest, i sometimes wonder why we even bother, but hey. it is what it is.
so see y'all around peeps. and please drop me a line if you need to know my views on any social issues. i'd be glad to write a post on it.
if you're an avid reader of my blog, you will notice that i have never disclosed where i work. i have also never used anyone's real name while relating a true story. i also do not talk about extremely controversial issues like gay people and the church, religious interference in the educational system, downlow men and marital deception, the genetic male need for spousal infidelity and a whole gamut of other issues that would not only make for interesting read but will generate riotuous sentiments. and the reason is simple, i am a private person. i do not have the thick skin required to open up a can of worms and ride the wave of stinging public condemnation for stating my views on the many issues...but that has to change.
at my age, it suddenly becomes clear to me, that a time comes in your life when you live above the need for peer group affirmation. when you let go of the need to be constantly right or be on the right side of things...and where you will express your opinion not because it is right, but because you have an opinion.
so right after my birthday post, i received the most important question from a long time blog reader. a question that seemed innocuous in itself but that i realized had never been quite answered. and the email read: hi oroque, love your blog. but after following it for a very long time, i am left confused entirely. who are you? what do you stand for? are you a christian (cos you bash the church a lot), are you anti-marriage (cos you seem to see nothing good with it)? and can you let us all know when you're being sarcastic by maybe adding a LOL at the end of sentences we shouldn't take seriously? signed "R".
i wish i could give a complex, psychologically correct answer to that "who am i" question but really, i don't think anyone is really any one thing. i think we all strive to do good and to live right but being the thinking reasoning beings that we are, must be allowed to question the basis of our beliefs. i do not try to convince anyone to agree with me, but i think everyone would be interested in knowing how i feel about certain issues. so here goes:
1. Am i a Christian?: Depends who you ask. if you ask my dad and mum (both pastors) then i'm probably at best a 'struggling christian' (as i've been since i knew left from right). but seriously, IF christianity is the cult where i am supposed to mindlessly do what a certain pastor says without question, and insist that nobody except myself and church members will be going to heaven, and to regard other faiths as somehow beneath mine and to give - usually money - "sacrificially" to a particular church as a way to obtain redemption from the Almighty...then i am not a Christian. and happily so.
2. Am i Anti-Marriage?: I think marriage is a beautiful thing. My parents have the most amazing marriage, my dad never raised his voice at my mum, and they always stand together in any decision even against the kids. they played the 'good cop, bad cop' thingy for a long time until we sorta figured it out and they will be the first to make fun of their inadequacies or shortcomings. my dad insists he was always top of his class when he was growing up (i often wonder who's dad then carried second if every dad i know was first in their class). So no, i am not anti-marriage but i am anti-weddings. You see, i do not understand how and why on earth i should spend 30 minutes in the church asking God to bless a couple on their life-long journey and give them kids and peace and happiness (which is vital) but spend 5 hours at a needless party acknowledging chairman of the day, father of the day, royal father of the day, chief patron of the day, host of the occassion, parents of the bride and groom, goat of the grooms brother etc. i feel the priorities are all mixed up and its just not my thing.
3. What do i stand for?: Do right by your conscience. Karma is a bitch. Do your thing and stay out of my way. THE END. Quite simply put. when i read that Sharon Tendler married a dolphin, i simply read it and moved on. no shock, no concern, no emotions. its her damn life...and if it makes her happy, then bravo.
and this is partly why i have no comments on issues of morality, as long as it does not get in my way and i am not involved or interested, then i have no comments because anything i say will be borne out of ignorance.
and yes, i don't know (or care) who will eventually go to heaven between christians, muslims, hindus, bhuddists, orthodox jews...since we are all told by different books (each allegedly inspired by the Almighty) that each group is headed to paradise. to be honest, i sometimes wonder why we even bother, but hey. it is what it is.
so see y'all around peeps. and please drop me a line if you need to know my views on any social issues. i'd be glad to write a post on it.
Comments
Your 3rd paragraph describes me perfectly. wateva any1 thinks mehn, it is wat it is. i usually don't do controversies too...i like reading about them and i enjoy the very diff points of view, i just don't feel compelled to say much...personally, i c it as a 'long thing'
finally, as long as you do you (cos every1 else is taken) and ur happy, then enjoy
You are just a private person who wants to be a public person and yet retain your private views... You write quite nicely though your views can be inferred as being weird sometimes but we love you still cos you are just that, Oroque...Lol!
Funny thing I don’t think I would have ever asked you that question. You go to church but don’t always agree with the doctrines, that I have gleaned from your older posts.
#2: I have seen you wax lyrical about your friends relationships so I don’t think you are anti-marriage. Wary maybe. But that you are anti-weddings that’s new. And funny..
Ditto for third question..that's why I read your blog.
A blogger should be passionate about some issues not all. We all have opinions but you don't voice it for all topics. Not everything is worth the fight.
Anyhoo, just do you.