simply oroque's view

nigerians have a common problem. it is not caused by hunger, and it is not caused by strife, it is simply caused by many years of helplessness. it is called short term memory loss ("STML" for short"). STML affects individuals who were born from around 1979 when things began to go really bad, and strikes the nervous system by triggering a full release of more red blood cells into the part of the brain necessary for storing information and life experiences for long periods of time. so today, i was minding my own business when i stumbled on the following news report: Senators in Nigeria earn 19 million naira per month, while house of rep members earn 10 million per month. now, as always, i can write 50 pages on the flagrant insensitivity of the present day politicians especially in view of the many strikes that we have been plagued with in recent times. in many states of the federation, the civil servants have been asking the governments to give them a minimum wage of 1...

there are a few things in life that i do not take seriously. y'all know a few of them...and i always try to give an air of irreverence to all of the things that human beings hold sacrosanct for no apparent reason, especially when it defies modern logic and common sense. somehow though, from the first time i heard of a certain disease very many years ago, i knew that of the many things that i will take seriously in my life, AIDS and the fight against it would be one of them. i remember the first time i ever heard of the disease was on the oprah winfrey show when they were interviewing a man who was being physically persecuted by members of his small community somewhere in america, because he was gay and had AIDS. at the time, as is still the case in many regions of black africa, the notion was that AIDS was a gay person's disease and an instant verdict from the Almighty against the atrocious acts of homosexuals. that episode of her show was one of the most passionate ever, wi...

okay, to be honest i have no reason to give for the silence on this space. truth is, from as long as i can remember, i always have long spells of time when i switch off from everything and everyone. when i just sit still and take stock of all the commitments i have going, all the stuff i do and all the people i surround myself with, and find a reason for each one. it usually gets most obvious with church and religion, because as anyone who reads my blog often will know, i have something about religion that i cannot put a finger on but i will not give up on either. the sorta "love God but not sure about his kids" feeling. and i know its bad, but thats what i've been doing. i have spent the whole past 2 months on a break from everything and everyone. i have cut off all the hangers on, and stopped going to church altogether (minus once or twice when i would enter during opening prayer and leave during closing prayer) because i feel really monitored and choked and constantl...

I have been on leave for about a week now and had decided that this time, I would not broadcast it on my blog. I was hoping that I will get a complete shut out by just plugging out of everything…and no, everything does not include facebook. And so just this past saturday, I stumbled upon the fact that it was actually the birthday of a wonderful friend of mine - Chinene. She being one of the few people in my life who’s presence is so silent, and yet most powerful towards influencing my actions. I recalled with pride, for the first time to a worldwide audience, how she actually used to be so happy to have me drop by at their family house (unannounced and always hungry) and she and her brothers would welcome me as if they’d known me all their lives. I never for once felt out of place with them. This then brought to my mind the thought of all the people who have actually fed me at one time or the other… especially through my difficult university years (thanks Gabriel and Yinka, you guys...

i remember two years ago, when i had retired into my sleep at about 10pm, and a close family friend came knocking (and ringing my phone off the hook) to tell me that his wife was in labour. this is a couple that had spent 4 years of marriage trying to conceive (i often wonder why legitimate couples struggle to conceive while layabouts get pregnant especially when they don't want it, but hey, another of life's ironies). his wife is so lovely and a really great person who helped my sister and i settle in quite well, when we first moved back home after such a long time in Abuja. so, he was there to seek our financial assistance as it had become an unusually protracted labour and they needed to buy some additional medical supplies and all. fortunately, my sisters boyfriend (now my brother in law) was there that night and had enough money on him to salvage the situation. naturally, we woke up the next morning and flew to the hospital to behold the new bundle of joy. everyone was sm...

it has been so busy lately, that i cannot even begin to think about it. as i write this, i am smack in the middle of my 8th Agreement in 2 days. you know, those very complex contracts that you have to pay attention to and cover all the possible things that could happen in future. not cool. but hey, i guess i have to earn my salary...and i have no complaints about my salary. so there. i havent even had a moment to observe goings on around the world and in nigeria. there was a bomb blast in abuja on independence day, and the way the government is not letting the matter die, is impressive. i hear some folk are trying to politicize the incident as elections are due next year, but i hope to God that it is a one-off incident that will never occur again. like i said in an earlier post, nigerians are copy masters, and once it appears possible to implement a vice and get away with it, it suddenly becomes the rave. we have come from forging naira notes, to cutting human parts for rituals, to...

going through my past blog posts (and yes, i'm vain like that), i realize that i have made promises over time, to narrate an incident as part of a larger topic, or to tell a joke i heard, or critisize new music. half the time, i find that i just move on to another topic by the time i am writing my next post and thats that. so i will try to fulfill a few of the promises. before i got my car, i used to follow a lot of different people to work. my neighbour upstairs told me a joke that was relayed to them as part of their induction programme into an oil company. so there was this guy who liked this hot lady from a wealthy home very much and had been trying to get her to date him. the lady consistently refused any of his invites for a date and almost made it super clear that she was not interested in him as he was not "her type". well, so dude assumed it was because he lacked the refinement necessary to date a woman of her class. and so, although he would totally have die...

for some unknown reason, i wasn't going to join in the political hullabaloo going around especially as i have a strong feeling that something is amiss. i mean, you tell me, if the constitution was hurriedly amended, a new electoral law passed speedily, an election date fixed four months away, and registration of over 70 million potential voters within a record-breaking period, would you honestly believe that the elections will indeed hold without drama? there have been all sorts of rubbish talk going around. firstly, some unknown party (PPA) suddenly decided that they would up and merge with the PDP. the PPA was headed by the former governor of Abia State, Orji Kalu, who is now being kept busy with the case of a woman who died in his overseas home (how convenient). the party ruling in lagos state, the Action Congress (ACN) has flooded the state owned television with hourly documentaries on the success stories of the government in lagos. other than that, nothing. the eerie silence...

its my birthday on saturday, and its impossible for my dad to forget it now, cos everyone goes "oh, 9/11", "osama" etc...well thanks mr.bin-laden. like they say, any publicity is good publicity (just ask paris hilton if you doubt me). so i'll be 31 this year. nothing has changed so don't even ask. truth is, if i wasn't african, i'd be having a blast and be super excited. but as a nigerian, the only benchmark of success is being married, and so far, so not happening yet. but hey, like they say, never say never! i always baffle at people hiding their ages. growing up, even kids as young as 18 would rather be hanged on a stake upside down than tell you how old they are. i thought that maybe when i grow up, i'll appreciate why i shouldn't be so open about how old i am, but till now, no luck. i'm the first to tell people exactly how old i am, because like i always say, you'll find out when i die anyway so what da heck. i've heard peo...

...this is Lagos Nigeria, in 2010 with the tons of LASTMA traffic officers who jump into the cars of law abiding citizens as soon as they inadvertently miss a turning. We went over the entire stretch of 3rd mainland bridge this morning driving behind this 12th wonder of the world. thank God for Blackberry, otherwise i don't know how i could have described this to y'all...or if anyone would have believed me. i guess they are right when they say that a picture does indeed say a thousand words. see y'all peeps!

nigerians really like to feel cool. thats a fact. if you are nigerian, or have lived in nigeria long enough, one of the first things you'll notice is how people just like to identify with whatever the rave is. seriously, even ridiculous trends just catch on like wild fire down here. good example was the time when suddenly all the young girls who managed to gain admission into university felt that it was a show of americanism to use the phrase "like, you know" in every sentence. for no apparent reason, and with no heed to grammatical correctness. you'd hear an over made up girl telling her friend: "so the guy told me, like, you know, that he wants to be my boyfriend, so i'm like i beg your pardon, and he was moving back and feeling cool, like you know, walking away from me until he just fell into the gutter, like you know, like this". i mean, damn. thankfully that passed real quick (or maybe i just grew too old to notice). and so yesterday, someone who ...

okay, so i came up here today hoping to write about something lighthearted, you know, like how the rain won't stop even though there used to be something called "August Break" when we were younger (maybe we should take all this environmental talk a lil more seriously), and how tiger woods deserves what he got when he forgot for a moment he was a black man, and black men are full of testosterone which the average tepid white woman cannot handle (no racism intended) or even about the very stupid hostage rescue job carried out by the phillipino police some days ago, which left 9 people dead at the end of the dramatic/mission impossible style rescue. i daresay, for once and maybe never again, that i am proud of the nigerian police in comparison to what i saw of the phillipines. even i was doing a much better job with my mouth while watching the thing on television during lunch break at work. but interesting as all those almost-topics may sound, the news story that interests...

for the first time in a long time (happily for my chrsitian peeps), i will not be writing about my church after a weekend. and no, its not cos it got burnt down, but because there was no service yesterday. for me, the perfect weekend is one with books, news on television and the internet....sprinkled with some lazying about and politics. just to start out by saying, that i had the perfect weekend. for no reason on friday, i just decided to experiment with my expenditure flow. you know, over time i have realized a worrisome trend with my weekend spending. during the week, i can actually spend next to zero. well, thats because when i had my car, the fuel money would have been paid upfront and administered by my driver with close supervision. i would use my office phone to make all my calls (shhh, don't tell my boss i said that), and eat my one really good meal for free at work during lunchtime (don't let my size fool you, i'm actually not a foodie person). and so, except ...

okay, so first off, this is not my regular blog post of scathing criticism and unashamed whining. its what i like to call a seat filler. well, i know many of you have not watched a movie of the same name (it wasn't exactly box office material) featuring kelly rowland and mel b, but contrary to what you might expect of a movie boasting of two "formerly famous" music stars, it was nothing to write home about. here's the summary: some dude is broke and gets a job filling up empty chairs at award shows in place of invited guests that dont turn up, and then gets to seat next to a real singing superstar (you guessed it, super...ahem...kelly rowland) and as guys always do, tries to pretend to be who he's not to get her. long drab story short, he gets her, she finds out who he really is, he loses her, she can't forgive him and then she does and then thay live happily ever after. you can wake up now. so basically, this is a post to fill in the space until i read th...

i'm just gonna pretend that it has not been a long time since i wrote my last blog post. a lot has happened that i am not willing to talk about. love remains slow in coming, i am in desperate need for motivation at work, my car packed up eventually and is on the market for a buyer and everything is a tad slow. but otherwise, i guess i am just glad to be alive (doesn't sound like me right? i know, lol). so you already know that my sundays are usually church filled and my posts are often church themed, so no surprises here. but i heard a story last week that just re-emphasises my opinion, that the church has lost its way in the midst of countless varying interpretations of the same scripture, and that chrsitianity has refused to come to terms with the world as it exists today, quite like the ostrich hiding its tiny head in the sand and leaving its huge body exposed, in the hope that whatever it is running from will just stop being so life-threatening by the time it pokes its he...

i know you all saw the papers last week. well, i won't call them newspapers, because there was hardly any news in them. and that was because a few people who are inarguably rich and alligned with the ruling party, but who are arguably undeserving of as much as a standing ovation for their contributions to their villages, were given national honours and  hijacked whatever little credibility that our national dailies had by buying up page after page in congratulations to themselves under different pseudonyms. i browsed with shock as page after coloured page of intellectual space was wasted congratulating the governor of kwara state - Bukola Saraki, the owner of an oil company - Femi Otedola and my absolute favourite, some unknown Hajia who's claim to fame in the minds of all right thinking people, is her uncanny ability to appear in glossy softsell magazines, profiling her attendance of every elite party in town. to be honest, there isn't much to say, so i wont bore you w...

here's a brief summary of the new movie in Nigeria, its an independent production happening in real time, quite like reality TV shows, but only more scandalous. It's titled "when we were true". as always, its directed, produced and acted out by the same folks so grab a popcorn and coke, sit tight and listen attentively. for those of you who live outside nigeria/on a floating meteor in outer space, you may not have heard about the headline kidnapping of five journalists on their way from one of the south eastern states in Nigeria. They apparently went to attend some event somewhere and were returning in a vehicle, when they were abducted. Usually, news of kidnappings in the south east region of Nigeria do not exactly make headline news anymore, as Nigerians have grown immune to this new criminal vice (as with everything else) and have just decided to let go and move on. However, since these were journalists involved, their colleagues in the print and television med...

so as usual, i went online to read the papers and was struck in the face by the following headline attributed to the President on 234next.com: "Power supply will stabilize when we achieve 40,000 MW". part of the report acknowledged that as at today, Nigeria is still trying to achieve 10,000 MW of electricity. and so, in my usual nothing-better-to-do-on-a-weekend mode, i went on a research to identify exactly what the problem was with Nigeria and getting power. As you probably already know, each time there is a massive power outtage (massive means more than we already experience daily) the Power Holding Company of Nigeria will take to the media to explain it away by laying the blame on things like "low water levels" and "lack of gas supply". naturally, that indicates that our present power generation system is based on water and crude oil related sources. so, here's what i found on the internet: In 1969, the 11,500 MW Kainji dam was inaugurated....

okay, today i'm gonna say as little as need to be said. not only because its not a topic i like to talk about, but i'm just plain tired and its the middle of the week and i should be sleeping. as the whole world possibly knows by now, i had a slightly improved weekend in terms of activities last saturday. i went out to watch a movie, and simple as that journey sounds, it brought many many questions to mind. how was life planned out to be? where did i think i would be by this age? what did i hope to become or achieve? i remember growing up, i was constantly planning ahead. by the time i was 7 i had planned all the way to my 17th birthday, by the time i was 21 i had decided what i'd be doing by 30. needless to say, nothing exactly went as i planned, and life often took its own course. fortunately for me, most of it took turns for the better. half of the plans i made when i was younger was borne purely out of fear. from a very young age, i have always feared that for some unkn...

my hand almost reached for you my skin could have felt your touch the moves, the brilliance of your stage so so far and yet so near your voice ringing so true sincere, even through the blue for your make believe, made me believe that being far, your also near my laughter you never heard when gloomy nights i lay in bed watching you mimic life, so true not too far but not so near and now art bows to life as the sun to night sans strife and no more you shall we behold ever far and no more here. goodnight Toun Oni. from a fan you never knew.

yesterday, a friend of mine of facebook arrived at a conclusion that i had since reached long ago...reading nigerian news is likely to cause migranes, heart aches, high blood pressure and nervous breakdown. when i first started writing this blog a long time ago, i recall how someone said he was not going to read my blog because i was too negative and saw nothing good with nigeria. he felt that as a citizen with a chance to share my views with the world through my blog, i should seek out the good in the country and splash that to the world. that, to me, would not be fair to my reading public and i feel that if anything should be interesting, it should be the absurdities that make mainstream news in our country and that we have all grown immune to (like the 20 million naira children's party for 1,000 children to celebrate nigeria's independence i.e. 20,000 naira per child when whole families survive on about 3 dollars a day/ 500 naira). and so, in order to stay sane, i swore off ...

well, let me start off by saying that i had made a secret promise not to write about my church goings on since i have been chastized once or twice by some christian folk for not being reverent enough of the christian insitution. i have even been accused of picking on the church because it is an entity that cannot defend itself. and so, i deference to what i considered prudent logic, i have staved off the church in general in my blog postings. however, the church just won't let me be. a friend of mine who used to be a church goer (i've been told that a true christian would never leave the church but a "church goer" would) told me that one of the reasons that he decided that the church wasn't for him is the amount of offerings collected on any given service. i'm sure by now everyone knows i attend the redeemed christian church of God and my church is no exception when it comes to giving an offering for every fly that perches on the wall. trust me, we have offeri...