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of sharpness and nigerian tomfoolery

i swear i was not going to write a blog post today. my abeokuta adventure over the weekend seems to have re-inspired me to just go on about everything. i am literally appaled by nigerians at this stage. so there i was last night, lounging in bed and writing my blog when i suddenly remembered that i had applied for visa lottery a few years ago (just because) and nothing became of it. so i made a mental note to check the official site for the DV and maybe apply. The truth is, i don't know what i would ever do if i was even given the green card because i am not at the stage of life where living in a foreign land would make a remarkable difference to me. i'm kinda used to the way of life here, i know how far my salary will take me and that nepa will not change. but anyways, what does not kill you makes you something or the other so whaddaheck. so i get here this morning and log on to their site and now i am angrier than mary slessor upon ariving at 1876 calabar (all my genera...

one for the blogger

so, inevitably I keep getting asked by people for tips on blogging. i'm sure I've given some thoughts in an earlier blog post in passing but with more and more people asking me the same question, i think I should devote a full blog post to this issue. blogging will bring attention, deal with that concept right off the bat. I was traveling the other day when I ran into an old acquaintance who was in mid conversation with a third person as I approached after my security check in at the airport. after we exchanged pleasantries, she moved to introduce me to her friend and surprisingly, the friend said she had heard my name before somewhere. I was just going to tell her that my name is quite popular if she has ever been to the south south part of Nigeria but didn't get the chance before she said "I think its just part of the name of a blog I used to read 'something oroque view or something'. I feigned ignorance and proceeded to change the topic because frankly I was...

of countryside and soul journeys

so as part of my new found randomness, I upped and went to Abeokuta. just because. everytime i travel outside of nigeria on a personal trip, i find that i move around a lot. i want to see everywhere and go everywhere as far and wide as is possible. however, abeokuta is a few minutes from where i spent many years growing up and i have never crossed the border into the state. i doubt that the realization is unique to me. the truth is many people go to the "need to go" places in their lives. work, church, home, bar. they know that the country is bigger than just wuse zone 2 or ikoyi, but nothing takes them out of their routine to explore. growing up, my parents took us everywhere just because. i have been to yola, jos, kaduna, ibadan, uyo and many cities across nigeria as a result of this exploratory spirit. but times have changed. as civil servants, i assume that the work life balance that my parents enjoyed through the 80's is something that we can only dream about. fast-f...

of status updates

unbelievably, the ASUU strike has gone on for longer than anyone in his right mind would have thought possible. the students are at home getting pregnant or trying to get someone pregnant. the lecturers are on leave hoping that this drags on for longer than necessary knowing fully well that their salaries remain untouched after everything. parents are at their wits end trying to keep hormone driven youngsters occupied...and I keep worrying that one of these idle hands will burgle my house while I am away at work one of these days simply because they have nothing better to do and bit of mischief is inevitable. o well. if the president can sleep at night with the country in this state, why not I? the populace is so tired that nothing bugs it anymore. we have been so pummeled by bad news and seemingly unending near crisis that when the news broke that a plane just crashed carrying dignitaries on board, more than half the people I know just read it and carried on working like they had ju...

of life, ethics and the judge

i just read in the newspaper that a California judge has given a court order permitting prison authorities to force feed many of the inmates at a prison who are on hunger strike for the seventh week now and are facing a health risk. the back story is that many of the violent gang leaders of white supremacist groups and black and latino enemy gangs have encouraged this strike to protest their being kept in solitary confinement. they are apparently so powerful even in these solitary confinements that the other inmates who are not in solitary confinement have gone on this hunger strike to the point of being near death. i will keep this simple, follow me. when an inmate wants to go on hunger strike, the prison authorities will ask them to confirm if they wish to be resuscitated when absolutely necessary to do so for health reasons. usually, many of them would say yes, because nobody who is not on death row really wants to die...and goodness knows that a 40 year jail term may end someda...

of hope and decorum lost

Yesterday someone said aloud during lunch that democracy is not for Africans. I know I have some of the world's most intelligent friends so let me peg the tide of high profile arguments by saying that I agree with him but will not go into the reasons why. Often times it has become clear that the black person finds a way to circumvent and rubbish the best systems in the world. Western immigrations and customs, banking systems and processes, political structures....everything that binds the white man who by nature recognizes and respects boundaries clearly does nothing for the black man. The military is not any help in terms of leadership and dictators often forget how they got to power and become tyrannical but I digress. The papers are full of politics. Everyday in the news is one new political stone being thrown or dodged. It is tiring. Every single action has political undertones, political alliances are broken and formed, monies are changing hands, psycophants are in business....

of common flaws and social glares

i was having lunch at the office cafteria when a documentary on the "insite" needle exchange program in canada and switzerland came on. the default channel at work is CNN of course. at first i thought it was just one of those programs that spew out stale statistics on drug use around the world and the effect on the human body and how the world is dying etc. you can thus imagine the shock when i heard, "a place where people can walk in off the streets and legally shoot up". as with programs of this nature, there was a dramatic pause after that phrase as they showed people with faces blurred out, opening a door to a building as sterile as a clinic. the concept was a simple one. sometime in the past decade, vancouver canada had one of the world's highest rates of HIV. as with everything done by intelligent western countries, the government dug deeper into the statistics and realized that the highest contributing factor to new HIV infections was the shared needles...

and the 5th anniversary grand award goes to...

this grand award is given in recognition of the most compelling submission to make a case for charity in the simplyoroquesview blog 5th anniversary give away ...and is worth NGN250,000 (Two Hundred and Fifty Thousand naira only) given to the winning charity and nominating participant in pre-determined ratio. Congratulations. Winner will be contacted to claim winnings. Should you win any other category, you will be asked to forfeit one of the prizes, which is then awarded to the first runner up.

final nominations...

the nominees for the grand prize worth NGN250,000 (Two Hundred and Fifty Thousand naira) along with the charities nominated are: the shortlisted charities - and their areas of primary concern - are: the zammar institute (autism research, care and awareness), beth torrey home for mentally challenged and handicapped children, Edgar's Foundation (indigent persons care), Old People's Home Yaba, Heritage Orphanage Maryland, Mrs. Okafor  (infirmed widow of 5 children in dire need of assistance for substinence and medical fees). i cannot thank the persons who have sent in these entries, you have fought very hard for these charities because you believe in them. i was moved to tears by some of the entries received and i am a better person with the knowledge. God bless you. I am setting out these charities because the need for donations to all of them does not end with this give-away. unfortunately we can only award one prize, but i know many people reading have often wondered wh...

and the award for "first ever commenter" goes to...

this award is given in recognition of the first ever comment made by a blog reader over the life of the blog...and carries with it a cash prize of NGN20,000 (Twenty Thousand Naira only). Congratulations. Kindly send your bank details to simplyoroquesview@gmail.com. Should you win any other category, you will be asked to forfeit one of the prizes, which is then awarded to the first runner up.

and the award for "most commenter" goes to...

this award is given in recognition of the most comments made by a blog reader over the life of the blog...and carries with it a cash prize of NGN20,000 (Twenty Thousand Naira only). Congratulations. Kindly send your bank details to simplyoroquesview@gmail.com . Should you win any other category, you will be asked to forfeit one of the prizes, which is then awarded to the first runner up.

of the perfect leader

twas many a moons ago, that i first read of the chinese style of parenting. it created a media frenzy across the globe and caught the attention of the western media like none else before it. i half expected to hear some amazing magic having been conducted under the stars to aid the lead given by the chinese child over his peers elsewhere on this globe. instead i heard the ordinary. i heard of spankings and beatings, minor only to my own as a child. i heard about deprivations and lack of play, a concept many a black child in africa knows first hand by name. alas, the chinese form of parenting, was mild in comparison to the daily reality of nigerian parentage, and i began to wonder why our strict fathers and their whips did not turn us on the path of global leadership...instead fostering rebelion in our loins. the difference between black and chinese parentage lay bare upon interview given by the author of a book that had caused this furore. she brought forth unto the ears of the world...

10 DAYS TO GO...answer ya name

its not everytime that a small idea blossoms into a movement...and i didn't think for the life of me, that the anniversary charity give away would be embraced as much as it has been. we have received entries from within and outside lagos and i am excited that the prizes will soon be handed out.   short of doing a pre-conclusion vote of thanks, i'll just drop a quick thank you to everyone who has sent in an entry short and long. and i mean, LONG. it shows you all are as passionate about helping others as i am, and i am in the best circle of friends and readers. to those of you who would like to send in your entries in these final 10 days, here are the details below: HOW TO WIN: 1. Nominate a charity and write a short justification as to why they deserve One Hundred Thousand Naira 2. Submit your write up to simplyoroquesview@gmail.com between April 14 2013 to May 31 2013 TERMS & CONDITIONS: - Judges decision is final. - Only winners will be contacted - Cash ...

of advice amazement and adventure

times like today i am stuck. stuck because everything has been happening so fast but its all been too personal to paste on my blog. when i first started blog writing, i could have posted anything i liked cos it was accessible to only a few friends, now i get people from costa rica (not that its a bad thing). as usual when i haven't written my blog in a long time, i'm just gonna do a quick round up of whats been popping and upping. okay, i'll stop trying to be funky at old age. lets do this from the most important to the least important shall we? as y'all know from my several whining posts on the dangerous slope the country was going that i did not understand for the life of me why average citizens of a country would all think the same way about how to solve a national problem but the government just kept moving round in circles. and yes, i'm talking about militancy in the north and south of nigeria. the approach so far has been to pay off these criminal elements...

anniversary gift splash ON!

the blog is in its 5th year and we are giving away prizes. you get to do a good deed by helping your favourite charity win 100,000 naira (just convince us why they deserve that money) while you then get the following personal keepsake prizes worth 150,000 naira for yourself!!! you know you want it... HOW TO WIN: 1. Nominate a charity and write a short justification as to why they deserve One Hundred Thousand Naira 2. Submit your write up to  simplyoroquesview@gmail.com between April 14 2013 to May 31 2013 TERMS & CONDITIONS: Judges decision is final Only winners will be contacted Cash prize of 150,000 may be given at our discretion in lieu of winner gift package (i.e. blackberry z10, shoes & bag plus 20,000 naira cash) no purchase, payment or donation is required to participate. Absolutely free. yes, you can spread the word. Winners announced June 15, 2013. lets go peeps! don't let your favourite charity down!

...and the nominees for most overall commenter are

winner to be announced May 31st 2013...

of leggy and a happy nigerian man

so after the last post by the blogger "leggy" on nagging, she has risen quickly to one of my bloggers of interest (right after ginger and toinlicious)...hence my need to visit her page today and read what unabashed views she has this time. alas, i was not disappointed. she is giving single girls tips on how to get a nigerian man to marry them. i swear she makes me laugh out way too loud at work. you've absolutely got to read it: http://www.leggy-freda.com/#!/2013/04/how-to-get-nigerian-man-to-marry-you.html a lot of people were laughing about the tips and going "you can't be serious" but i know to goodness that all them single girls be taking notes, cos whether we admit it or not, more than half of the tips are true. damn it, actually all of it is true other than the "maternal" bit. who gives a flying toss if you love kids?! as long as you dont give them a flying kick and look like a grouch, then you're fine. so, in the spirit of advice and...

of april 14 2009

so on april 14, 2009 i set out to revive my blogging skills after leaving it to simmer as i was busy climbing the corporate career ladder. it was clearly a tough time and the only blog site then that was user friendly was yahoo. my blogging attempts were less frequent and as my world was close knit, i had not much to write about. i didn't want to write about my friends because i value their privacy, and i didnt want to bore people with what i thought were my pet peeves: "mediocrity in nigerian music", "the mass swindling called nigerian churches" and "political shenanigans". alas, these were pet peeves shared by more people than i imagined. my first blog post was, as you may have guessed, on nigerian music. i had just about had it after watching some local channels play yet another psquare song that sounded like the last one etc and i flipped. yes, i have come a long way since then. i had decided from get-go to be bold and courageous and speak my (n...

of amnesty criminality and word on the street

in my 33 years of living i have never heard of the word amnesty being used as daily parlance, more times than i have heard since president jonathan took office. i remain one of those who insist that our country had ceased to exist from the moment where we decided to grant MEND the amnesty many years ago. there was no justification, to my mind, for the wanton destruction of public property that we had spent several years to even manage to build. for 150 million people the public infrastructure is grossly inadequate and the wantom kidnap of foreign oil workers for ransom was clearly a criminal act, irrespective of the motive or 'noble' cause. as a tax payer, (and i have whined about the portion of my meagre earnings i fork over to the government to build roads and things), it hurts me that several persons, uneducated and misinformed...and by many accounts brainwashed, could hold a sovereign state to ransom by throwing tantrums and hiding under the cloak of anonymity. why on earth...

of the world through their eyes

Sometimes, the best blog post on a subject is made of the words from someone directly involved and this interview could not have come at a better time. Meet my friend Lola, longtime childhood friend and huge blog fan. I just want one person who reads this to relate to it, and get the real sense…that many other people out there have dealt with whatever you are presently dealing with closely, and are winning. Me: so, i'm doing a series of interviews and I’d be glad to chat with you though on anything you're comfortable sharing Lola: shoot Me: what exactly do you do for a living? Lola: practice law largely, I freelance as referee, cook, nurse......name it Me: LOL @ your freelancing jobs...I guess that’s what every mum does. Okay. With a NGO? Or private practice? Lola: private practice (new at it), been in NGO for the better part of my working life Me: that much I remember @ NGO. What was that like? And why did you leave? Lola: interesting, but the last one I was at had...

of leggy and the nagging syndrome

so today i was lounging about on blogger when i stumbled upon the following post written by a blogger named 'leggy' (follow her blog here: http://www.leggy-freda.com/2013/03/nagging.html?showComment=1364290838035#!/2013/03/nagging.html .). i swear we have world class bloggers in nigeria that challenge me everytime! beyond the wit and humour, she lays a good one on a woman's view about nagging. she says: Nagging is the first thing you learn as a nigerian woman. It's like a passage of sorts. you're taught to not nag your husband or boyfriend. you're taught it by everybody and especially by nigerian movies that tell you that nagging your husband/boyfriend is going to make him meet genevieve nnaji and fall in love with her, and cheat on you and leave you and it'd be justified because your bitch arse was nagging him all around the house. you start talking to your friends about how you're not a nag, justify your guyfriends' stupid behaviours because th...

of passions and brides...

So as you all know, I’m starting my value adding blog posts. The honest truth is that when I made the commitment to inspire my readers by seeking out interviews with different successful young people, I really didn’t have any leads. I also didn’t have any particular area I thought you’d like to read about…but life has a way of aligning the stars when its time for you to get moving. And that’s how the interview below came about. ‘I Do’ Weddings is the brain-child of a friend that I have known for a long time. In fact, she is a British trained lawyer who was working in a multinational company and by all standards should just sit and coast along like the rest of us are doing. So I was intrigued when some time ago, she just ran the idea of a one-stop wedding company by me. Naturally, as I hear about business opportunities every day from people who won’t move an inch from the sofa and remote control, I brushed it aside. You can of course imagine my shock when I hear from acquaintances h...

of musical nigerian-ness

okay so y'all know how i feel about the mediocrity of nigerian music. that hasn't changed. i'm still done with the recycled beat but different (still empty) lyrics of P.Square etc...and although they are mega-huge stars in countries as far away as south africa, kenya and cote d'ivoire, i'm still not impressed. i guess its a matter of a prophet never being respected in his home town but hey. you won't believe how many times i have to tell foreigners that i do not personally know ramsey noah, p.square and ini edo everytime i'm about to check in to a hotel in a foreign country. dubai was the best as the front desk lady tried to pronounce d'banj with her heavy accent. so i had tuned off nigerian entertainment for a while until one day i stumble on some dude called MayD. i was so blown away that i was beginning to wonder if all was well with me. for some reason, although he doesn't even try to be classy and all, his music gets me like nothing else. to m...

Of love and the Nigerian man

Okay so the funniest thing happened to me on the ride home from work this evening. There I was in the car absolutely quiet because my head was pounding after a hard day at work. I had just left my desk without shutting down my computer because I had so much half finished work and couldn't bear to lose the progress I had made on each one. As I sat in the car, I kept trying not to look at my phone as it vibrated on the seat indicating yet another email or bb ping or text in the unending stream of human communication. In the midst of this, I remembered that I hadn't paid my nepa bill and this was about the time of the month when they would usually come to physically disconnect electricity cables...then my mind wandered to the amount left in my account and all the bills I was yet to pay and how much I would have left etc. Next thing, after what seemed like a long silence, my phone vibrates and I check it. It's a chat from miss j. Naturally, it becomes priority. It simply read...

of living vanity

as you know, i'm a stuck up lawyer, living out my innermost thoughts through this blog. i never let my guard down, i never do anything borderline wrong, i just never do anything, period. so the other day i decided on a whim that i was going to live life a little and take professional photographs, just because. i figured that life will go by whether i use it and enjoy it or just sit by and watch it. plus i could afford it so whaddaheck. at first i tried to justify this need for vanity by telling everyone that it was my anniversary year professionally so i would just go in and take one lawyerly shot with myself in full attire etc. but then i got into the studio, and it hit me: i am vain . case in point: not only did i go with four sets of costume changes, i had spent the day before doing emergency sit-ups and rehearsing my poses in front of my bathroom mirror. don't judge me. an interesting thing with photographs is that you don't see anything other than the subject. i...